The 8 Ghosts of Christian Deconstruction

I had no idea what to call this post, which is about the questions and accusations that torment us during the process of spiritual deconstruction. I thought of calling it “The Hurdles of Deconstruction” or “The Myths of Deconstruction,” but neither seemed just right. They could be hurdles, only you don’t go over them, you work through them. They could be myths, but they feel too real to be myths.

Eventually, I decided to settle on “The 8 Ghosts of Deconstruction”. It reminded me of the Ghost of Christmas Past in the famous Dickens novel. I think “ghosts” is a good description. Because some of these questions, doubts and accusations whisper, and some of them shout. Some come in the dead of night to torture us, and others keep returning to echo in our heads long after we thought we had banished them forever.

Cartoon Description: A woman lies in bed. Her main thought bubble says, "My beliefs are deconstructing!" But this main thought bubble is having its own thought bubbles, like, "Once you reject Christ you can never go back." "The fool has said in her heart there is no God." "Definitely going to Hell now!" "You're being so selfish." "Deconstructing is just a fancy word for backsliding." "No, you're betraying God." "How dare you question God." "Why are you turning away from the Lord?"

The Truth Doesn’t Mind Being Questioned

Deconstructing beliefs, especially those about God, is no small feat. Religious deconstruction is the critical examination and dismantling of previously held beliefs, doctrines, and practices associated with your religious upbringing. As you can imagine, this process brings with it deep questions and accusations from ourselves, and from those who do not want us to question.

But remember, “Truth doesn't mind being questioned. A lie does not like being challenged,” Nietzsche (a famous 19th century philosopher and cultural critic). And the point of deconstruction is to reach a more authentic and individualized spirituality. A spirituality that is uniquely yours developed by you, not one prescribed to you.

The 1st Ghost of Christian Deconstruction - “Deconstruction is just a fancy word for backsliding”

Many churches label any form of questioning, changing, or searching for truth as “backsliding”. If you Google it, you will often see, “To backslide is to go backwards in your spiritual life”. Despite what the many say, spiritual deconstruction is the opposite of going backwards. Spiritual deconstruction is growth and exploration. It is digging and moving deeper into what you truly believe and why you believe it. It is a quest for an honest spirituality and authentic self.

Cartoon Description: A Woman and a man are in bed sleeping. The woman suddenly sits up and exclaims, "Hey! What if I'm not backsliding? What if I'm actually growing?!

The 2nd Ghost of Christian Deconstruction - “No, you’re betraying God”.

Questioning, challenging or leaving your faith is often labeled as a betrayal of God. Even if nobody says this to you, you may feel that you are betraying God. Here are some more questions to challenge this question (because questions are often the answer). If you want to believe in God, wouldn’t God be bigger than the church? If God is the Alpha and the Omega, was He/She not around before religion and churches existed? Does leaving a building mean the reason it was built disappears?

The 3rd Ghost of Christian Deconstruction - “How dare you question God”.

We are often brought up to believe that God is so holy and untouchable that we are not allowed to question His/Her existence. This belief does not foster authentic relationship, nor does it allow for deep understanding. Surely lions are not offended by the opinions of sheep? Surely an answer does not disappear if you ask a different question?

Cartoon Description: A two panel cartoon. In the first panel, someone is sitting next to God. They ask God, "What will happen if I question your existence?" and God replies, "Try it and see". In the second panel, God has vanished and they look stunned with wide eyes, an open mouth and a thought bubble with nothing but a question mark.

The 4th Ghost of Christian Deconstruction - “Why are you turning away from the Lord?”.

After spiritual deconstruction, you may choose to turn away from previous belief systems. You may also turn back towards some of those beliefs with a renewed personal understanding of them. Christian Deconstruction is not turning away from God, it is turning towards an authentic spirituality chosen by you - God, no God, or different version of God. It’s a deep dive into the mysteries of the depths of truth.

The 5th Ghost of Christian Deconstruction - “You’re being so selfish”.

Many religious beliefs promote the idea of safety in numbers. So when you choose to go in your own direction, they see it as desertion or selfishness. This is not true. Self expression and discovery is the greatest form of love you can give to yourself and others. When you know who you are and what you believe, your cup is full. If your cup is empty, nobody can drink.

Cartoon Description:Parents are sitting at opposite heads of the dinner table with their six children. Everyone at the table is looking at one of the daughters with slight frowns. The father firmly says, "Why did you have to go deconstruct on us and change our family dynamic, Molly!"

The 6th Ghost of Christian Deconstruction - “Definitely going to hell now”.

So many people only believe in Jesus because they fear going to hell after they die. This is a fear-based belief that is usually ingrained in us from a young age and it keeps the masses “in line”. I was about 50 years old when I left the ministry and the church. That first night was filled with terror about thoughts of hell. The thing that helps me combat the fear of hell? Knowing that, like the religion that promotes it, hell is a man-made concept.

Cartoon Description:God looks down at the world while standing on a cloud between two angels. He looks a little bit disappointed. One of the angels has their hand on Gods shoulder and asks, "Remember when humans invented hell and we thought it was a stupid idea? What do you think now?"

The 7th Ghost of Christian Deconstruction - “The fool has said in her heart - there is no God”.

In a nutshell, the Psalm this comes from (14:1) says that, aside from being foolish, all (note all not some) of the people who do not believe in God are corrupt, commit vile deeds, and do no good deeds whatsoever. This, like the rest of man-made religion, paints in very broad strokes and assumes that morality and wisdom rely on religion, particularly Christianity. Does it really? Hmmm…Is it really foolish to question irrational beliefs?

The 8th Ghost of Christian Deconstruction - “Once you reject Christ you can never go back”.

When people go through religious deconstruction, they often believe that it is a one-way road. It’s a two way road (or an off-road hike) and you choose the direction. Going through the process of deconstruction made me realize that I was in control of my beliefs. Nobody was telling me in which direction to think. I got to think for myself!

If you choose to “reconstruct” after you deconstruct, you may decide to continue to believe in Jesus with renewed vigor. If you decide to leave it all behind and keep walking down the road in your own direction, you can. Because spiritual deconstruction helps you realize that you are the traveler and the navigator of your own beliefs.

You’ll eventually realize that these “ghosts of deconstruction” are not real. They are created by years of indoctrination and dogma. They are bars we build around ourselves and they can be removed.

Cartoon Description: A man is standing inside an incomplete cage. There is a crowd of people all holding bars used to build a cage lined up next him. As each person reaches the front, the man reaches out from his cage, grabs a bar, and uses it to finish constructing the cage he is in. The text above and below the cartoon state, "The expectations of others were the bars I used for my own cage."

Going through Christian deconstruction and need some support?

It took me years to deconstruct. Like…DECADES. And in that process, I learned a lot. I believe that everyone deserves to deconstruct safely, without judgment, and with as much support as possible, which is why I've decided to share my deconstruction course for free on YouTube. You can watch all the videos now starting with this one.