Navigating the Deconstruction Journey

The Relationship Between Belief Intensity and Healing in Deconstruction.
The graph: the harder you believed, the harder you deconstruct.

harder believed harder deconstruct cartoon by nakedpastor david hayward

This is a generalization. There are exceptions but in my own experience and observations, this is generally true.

When you are 100% all in- to the beliefs, to the church, to its leaders- and you start to doubt these things, it can be very traumatic.

Like the stock market. When you invest everything into your beliefs, the Church, its leaders, and they all crashing, it can be devastating.

Some will say that none of it was real so I really didn’t lose anything anyway. It was all a hoax. They walk away unscathed.

But for many of us, this is not how it FELT. It was very real to us and to surrender that whole world, to give it up, to let it go, well, it hurts!

That was me. And maybe this was you too.

We totally absorbed the Bible. 
We totally invested in the Church with time, energy, and money.
We totally served our leaders with zeal.
We totally believed what we believed.

We didn’t do it half-assed.

Then, when we started to deconstruct our beliefs… to question our beliefs and lose the faith we once had and change our relationship to the church… those symbols (Bible, Church, Pastor) began to lose their charm and as a result their power over us.

It’s not like our spiritual investments were compartmentalized in our minds and we could just amputate that. Our faith, beliefs, involvement and service permeated every aspect of our lives. Nothing was excluded. It stained everything.

So please take comfort. 
This is normal.
The intensity will simmer. 

You will slip into your new life and realize how magnificent it’s always been.

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