Things I Would Say to People Deconstructing Their Beliefs
It’s often traumatic to deconstruct your beliefs.
Here’s some comfort.
Don’t worry about the past, the future, or the present.
- Don’t worry about the past. You may have regret or shame for how you believed and behaved in the religious culture you were deeply enmeshed in. Accept your roots and integrate the earlier chapters of your life into your present self. This is not to say you must believe or excuse your earlier beliefs. You just learn to write the past into your story. You wouldn’t be who you are now unless you were who you were then. Like an alchemist, transmute the dross of your past life into the gold of your present one.
- Don’t worry about the future. There’s no condemnation, judgment or punishment for questioning, changing, or losing your beliefs. Just like I would never reject my children for believing differently than I, neither do we live in a vengeful universe that retaliates for a different wisdom sought with integrity. Relax. Be at peace. Do not fear. It is well.
- Don’t worry about the present. You’re now liberated from a life of constant monitoring and measuring. You’re free to be here now. Space and time are concepts; we live in an infinite chain of “now”s. All you have is now. This is the fulness of time, the infinite and the eternal, and you can be in it just as you are, authentically, honestly, vulnerably, and joyfully, right now.
You are not alone.
You are not crazy.
You are not backsliding.
You are growing.
As you should.
And love yourself for it.