What Do You Want?

When I left the ministry I had no idea what to do.
A mentor asked, “David, what do you want?" I couldn’t answer.

I really didn’t know what I wanted. My religious devotion was so deep that I lost touch with myself and my desires. I had no idea what I wanted.

You also know this if you’ve been as serious about church and belief as I was. If you were taught that you had to serve, sacrifice and suffer to live a full Christian life, you might not know what you want either.

I wasn’t allowed to want anything because it was selfish. The only question was, “What does God want?” “What do I want?” was not just greedy and worldly but disobedient and hurtful to the Lord.

When I said in exasperation, “I don’t know what I want”, he said I had to figure it out. I felt sinful even considering it.

what do you want cartoon by nakedpastor david hayward

A woman says to Jesus that she was never allowed to want anything in life. Jesus weeps.




Now I know what I want. And I don’t feel guilty about it. It’s good to want. It’s human to want. I’m in touch with my desires and feelings. I’m not ashamed of it. I no longer allow beliefs to silence me or shut me down.

When I left the ministry I knew nothing about business and money and I had to learn quick. The books all say the same thing: the first question you must answer is “What do you want?” You have to answer that to live your life. I know that now.

What do you want?

(This is from my book “Money is Spiritual” on Amazon.)

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