3 Reasons We Hide Our Light: Religious Trauma & Self Worth

I’m observing an online friend of mine who is enjoying some success in her life. She’s truly amazing, and it’s fun to watch her enjoy her amazingness being appreciated.

I’m thinking, “Girl, you have no idea how amazing you are! You just wait!”

Marianne Williamson has said, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’”

I exactly know this feeling.

And even though the sayings of Jesus often get turned into evangelistic propaganda, such sayings as, “Don’t hide your light under a bushel” or “A city set on a hill cannot be hidden”… are powerful messages to our selves and how we can live courageously, authentically, and openly.

Like my cartoon illustrates, we only reveal a tiny bit of ourselves. As amazing as we are, we dare expose only a fraction of our amazing selves.

Why is that? I think about this a lot.

3 reasons why I think we hide our light:

We Don’t Even Think We're Amazing

Socrates said the unexamined life is not worth living. I see it all the time… when we start examining our lives, we discover an infinite universe of who we are. So many people I know have no idea how amazing they are. To be honest, I’ve come to conclude that I am far more amazing than I already think I am. That’s funny to say, and sounds egotistical, but it’s true! I know I have some amazing qualities and can do amazing things. I admit that. I own it. I embrace it.

But I know enough about human nature that there is unfathomable amazingness waiting for me to discover and uncover and reveal to you. And I already know this is one hundred percent true about you too!

The Church Taught Us Not to Appear Proud

I had a friend who was a carpenter. He did excellent work and was in high demand. He did very well financially. So he bought a nice pickup truck fully loaded. Beautiful! But the response from the locals was like, “Look at that guy! Who does he think he is? Some kind of big shot!” You know what I’m talking about.

I was always instructed to keep my head down unless I wanted it shot off. Society is a powerful levelling force that we all obey for fear of being singled out, ridiculed, and rejected. We don’t want people to think we are proud, arrogant, and haughty. We know we are good at what we do, but we are afraid to say so because we’ll quickly be put in our place.

We Don’t Want to Admit to Ourselves How Amazing We Are

This is the hardest one to grasp. From childhood I was taught to be humble and not proud. Even to admit, “I’m good at this!” was a no-no. My biggest revelation that this dynamic was at play in my life was illustrated best in my Sophia drawing Angel.

She realizes she is amazing, but is embarrassed to admit it. Do you know this feeling… where you suddenly realize you are beautiful, you are talented, you are wise, you are whatever… and you’re almost ashamed of it? I sure do! It’s too bad we do this to ourselves because ultimately, we aren’t just creating a barrier between ourselves and our Selves, but also between ourselves and others.

Yes, we need ourselves as we are in all our fulness, but they need us too… in all our fullness. 

Disregard the Attempts of Others to Dull Our Shine

There are too many of us who make ourselves small. We shrink to fit into the shadows of others. Especially when healing from religious trauma. I hope you put yourself first and work on your spiritual healing. And, if you're in need of some vulnerability art, you know where to find me! 

Own your light and let it shine!