what you can expect when you speak up against spiritual abuse

"Speak Up!" cartoon by nakedpastor David Hayward

“Speak Up!” cartoon by nakedpastor David Hayward

Please accept my invitation to The Lasting Supper where there are a lot of church- and spiritual-abuse survivors and people who have spoken up against it. CLICK HERE!

I get it every day that I’m negative and must have a root of bitterness.

This is just a feeble attempt to shut me up.

It’s not true. I mean, I am negative against spiritual and church abuse. And there have been times I’ve been bitter.

But I’m not bitter now.

I am vocal. And I will continue to be as long as churches and their authorities continue to abuse their members.

I rejoice that there are some communities that are really attempting to gather together in healthy ways.

So I just want to encourage you to do what this woman in the cartoon is doing.

Stand up!
Speak up!

Your self-care will inspire others to do the same thing.

I want to encourage you not to do it alone. Come join us at The Lasting Supper. CLICK HERE!
If you want to talk with me about it, I’m available. CLICK HERE!
Read The Liberation of Sophia… a young woman who stood up for herself. CLICK HERE!

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9 Responses

  1. Danica says:

    I’ve personally found that when I finally started expressing my ‘bitterness and anger’, that nasty festering stuff finally started working itself out from the recesses of my soul.

    When I was a kid in the tropics, any little cut or scrape would turn into a festering ulcer within a week. If you got a bit of coral or a splinter stuck beneath the skin, it would become what the locals called a ‘fish eye sore’. … because of the inflamed skin surrounding a white bubble with ugly black in the very center (sorry, graphic!). The only way to keep this from turning into something that would cause you to lose your limb (or life), was to use a razor and cut away all the membrane around the ulcer, then squeeze it like hell until the puss was completely gone. It hurt. It hurt badly. It was nasty and stinky and ugly and I remember kicking my mother as she performed this task on my ankle once, because the pain was so great.

    When we express our real emotions, people (especially in the church, for some reason), see that and label it the disease, when in reality it’s the opposite – those expressions are the cure.

  2. That’s why I try to provide safe spaces for people to speak. Seriously. That says it so well.

  3. A says:

    Wow… can I relate. Apparently I was considered outspoken, strident and/or a complainer… which, in Christianeze, over-spiritulaized language is having “a critical spirit.” Yikes. That’s odd since so many people always would say how encouraging I was… and on the spiritual gifts tests, same deal, a real gentle & encouraging spirit. Alas… just like you said, having an honesty and integrity to express one’s thoughts & emotions can get you labeled with an enduring, negative personality trait. Glad that God’s grace still was and is sufficient for me… and that I could exit that emotionally and spiritually unhealthy climate.

  4. I’m glad you exited A.

  5. So we’re supposed to be positive about abuse? 😉 Because being negative about it is a bad thing? >.<

  6. Thinking about the same thing today – “dumb sheep” – have you seen this video: “You Are A Dumb Sheep?” http://www.northwestleader.com/2014/dumb-sheep/

  7. K.W. Leslie says:

    I’ll just confess right now: When I realized my church and its leadership had been misleading me for years, I was bitter. And had damn good reason to be. So much wasted time led by blind guides.

    Y’know, when these same blind guides accuse us of bitterness, somehow this never occurs to them: If all I am is rebellious, they ought only describe me as having a rebellious spirit. (Or, if I’m a woman, a Jezebel spirit, ’cause Jezebel, though the bible calls her pagan, not rebellious, was the sort of take-charge queen they strongly disapprove of.) Why a bitter spirit? Why immediately leap to the conclusion I’m angry because I feel deprived? Unless there’s something to that. Hmm.

    But bitterness destroys us from the inside out. So I had to let that go, forgive them—for most of ’em know not what they do—and move on.

  8. kris799 says:

    I do not understand the need to be positive all the time, particularly about bad things. Our range of emotions are not that limited, and many times it’s the abusers telling us to shut up and smile!

  9. Caryn LeMur says:

    KW: glad to read that you were able to recognize that there was more than one pathway. And glad you did not go back.

    I agree that bitterness is destructive to the victim, and seldom is even accepted by the leader that caused the bitterness. Glad you forgave them.

    To what did you move on to? You have me curious.

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