"Rules and Expectations" cartoon by nakedpastor David Hayward
- You can ask benign questions as long as you never disagree with the pastor.
- When you're given advice, they're actually instructions.
- If you are encouraged to confess your sins, it's really¬†information gathering.
- The invitation to repent is actually a command to accept the blame.
- Meetings at the church aren't optional. You're expected to be there.
- Offerings are spiritual excise taxes. They guess your income and estimate what you should give.
- Them encouraging you to think is actually them expecting you to memorize.
- The closer to the center you get the more subservient you must become.
- Don't gossip means about the leaders. They do want information on regular members though.
- Unconditionally loving you forever means as long as you're an obedient member of their group.
I know these from experience. I was actually fired from one ministry in 2002 for not acquiescing to #4.
But I've been a part of communities where none of these are present. And they're wonderful.
Our online community The Lasting Supper
is growing steadily. We'd love you to come join us. We're very open!