Unhealthy ideas about forgiveness perpetuate the abuse of power and the powerlessness of victims.
The church, being the expert on forgiveness, has become the perfect culture for abuse. Abusers thrive on forgiveness, and the abused are weakened under the requirement to forgive.
But, isn't it the church's mission to correct the abuse of power and to empower the weak?
To teach that forgiveness means restoration to the way things were keeps power in the hands of the abuser and keeps the victim vulnerable.
Practically, this is how it should look:
The abuser is immediately removed from positions of influence on their prey, and the abused may forgive the abuser in their time, can require punishment, and demand they stay away from them.
It's very simple:
Take power away from the abuser.
Empower the abused.
Have you left the church and are lonely? Do you want support getting your power back? Join us at
The Lasting Supper and we'll walk with you with respect.