Loving Your Family That Doesn't Understand You.

We're nearing Valentine's Day. Today we're talking about loving your family while you're deconstructing.

Deconstructing in front of your family can feel like this. To you, you’re just asking questions, doubting, and even changing your beliefs and the way you think. But to them you are being deceived and carried away by Satan.

demons and deconstruction cartoon by nakedpastor david hayward

Two frames. In the first one, “What you see when you deconstruct”, a woman is deconstructing her beliefs and has a lot of questions while she sees her family looking confused and upset. In the second frame, “What they see”, is the woman being carried off by the devil while her family reaches out in horror to try to rescue her.

Most of us know what it’s like to move in a direction or become someone our family doesn’t understand.

When I experienced my first major spiritual transformation… or crisis… which launched my journey into mystical theology, meditation, and philosophical and eastern thought… straying from my very orthodox Evangelical and even Pentecostal roots… I do remember the confusion I caused.

Heck! Even I was confused!

I learned very early that in order to live an authentic life I had to give up on being understood.

Maybe this is why I cartoon and paint and write do videos and give interviews so much.
Perhaps these are all my attempts at being understood.

Yes, it hurts when your family doesn’t understand you.
It hurts even worse when they don’t even try.

In many cases though, even though we are not understood, maybe we are still loved.

I hope that is the case for you. It was and is for me.

If not, know you are loved and supported here in our community.

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1 comment

It seems that there is something universal in not being welcomed or listened to. I suppose it could be because we are being arrogant, it’s possible. On the other hand it could be, as you say, we have gone through some kind of transformation and have important things to say but are not being listened to and even being rejected.

I won’t always be understood or loved. But I can choose to do what is conducive to me being understanding and loving. The rest is up to other’s choices.

Adam Julians

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