Sorry I haven't been blogging much. The holidays, for one thing, kept me busy. Our oldest son Joshua is home from Ottawa too so that kept me away from my computer more than usual. Plus, on top of all that, I have just been struggling with the whole blogging thing anyway. I often wonder if it's worth while. Is it serving any purpose? Is it useful? Is it making me rich? Oops. I didn't mean that last one. But seriously. I'm not sure it's worth continuing.
The truth is, I don't think we change our minds. The way I think about church and community, I've come to realize since writing this blog, is far different than what is usually considered orthodox or even normal. It is not just slightly different, but off the grid. Perhaps I should just keep pastoring this local community and not worry about what others are doing. Perhaps it is only intended to be done locally. Perhaps it is an indigenous thing, so that writing about it only publicizes it, therefore polluting it. It's almost like I have a choice: be a pastor, or try to explain it. Like the old saying: those who do, do. Those who can't, teach. Maybe.
Oh, and another thing. I've been working hard on my art, developing my online art gallery haywardART.com
. I enjoy doing my art, and it provides me with hours of relaxation, contemplative time, hard work that has visible results (unlike the ministry), and extra income to supplement what I make as a pastor. I'd love you to visit my site and check it out.
So this is what I'm considering: instead of trying to come up with mini essays with something important to say every day, I'm thinking I will make it even more personal and diary-like... as if you were trespassing into my personal journals. I've always kept a journal, so maybe this will help it seem less daunting. In other words, like I said last year: perhaps I'll become even more naked.