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This drawing is inspired by the Ouroboros Snake... of the snake eating its own tail.
What came first? The chicken or the egg? What came first? The thug or the theology? I read Tony Jones' thoughts on Mark Driscoll.
Jones has always admired Driscoll, maybe envies him a little, wants the best for him, believes he can be redeemed, and suggests that things can be restored.
What I found most interesting though is that Jones believes the problem with Driscoll is theological.
That is, did Driscoll become the focus of concern because of his theology? Or was it because of his behavior?
I'm concerned that Jones' post reflects the refusal of the church to understand spiritual abuse. It neglects the pathology of its abusive leaders. I don't think this is being fair to the victims or the perpetrators of spiritual abuse. People are victims of not just a bad theology, but a pathological cruelty.
I don't think Driscoll's theology made this happen. Driscoll "embraced" his toxic version of theology because it aligned with his moral compass. It fit his personality. It worked for him to achieve his goals. Then it manifested the worst in him. Then he continued to develop his toxic theology in order to make more room for his pathological behavior. Mars Hill Church too.
Jones' sentence, "It could have happened to any of us." is true, because I believe we all participate in this dynamic. Theology is our creation. It is a reflection of our drives and desires.
Then, not satisfied to only be the product of our drives and desires, it also becomes the producer of them. Theology is a vicious cycle of our desperate need to understand and control our universe.
Step into this cycle at any point and you can see that we are both the root and fruit of our theology and pathology.
And yes, it spins out of control by manifesting itself in toxic, controlling, and abusive behavior. Nothing can be done about bad theology because of free thought and speech.
But we can do something when this manifests itself in bad behavior. Cruel theology is a nuisance. Cruel behavior is unacceptable.
When Driscoll thinks bully to his people, we can say please stop. But when he actually bullies people, we can step in and say you will stop now!
I don't think this is a theological issue. I think it is a pathological one. Not just for Driscoll and Jones, but for the entire church.
If we would be healed, our theology would take care of itself.
1079 comments
One more pressing thought…Julie, since you have lived with an extreme example of NPD, what is the answer? Is there a solution for this disorder? Maybe I should rephrase; I’m sure there is therapy for a narcissist who wants to change, but it appears the problem lies with the ones who have no desire to change (which I’m guessing is part of the disease.) I’m really not familiar with this at all…so, how do you counteract NPD? Will they stop at nothing? Is their goal to conquer all? Do you shame them? Does that cause them to back off a bit? OR do you pretend to play into their game just to pacify them? I am TRULY wondering what type of communication would cause this type of person to do the LEAST amount of harm to others.
Again, Julie – I can’t thank you enough for sharing your story. This is all utterly shocking, but I know it to be true. I’ve seen gaslighting manipulation in my church growing up from 2 different pastors who were trying to cover up affairs. (non-related situations.) It disgusts me. To think that my patient, kind, and tender father who loves God and people more than anyone I know, served as a supportive deacon to these scumbags, and began to question his own observations when they put their spin on the situations …SICKENS ME. Many of our friends began leaving the church, and our family felt betrayed. Yet it was they who were correct….we had been deceived by master spinners. NEVER AGAIN if I can help it. Shout if from the rooftops if that’s what it takes.
I agree with Brambonius – David, you need a like button for these comments!!!
Well then, I guess the emails I received calling you that are just figments of my imagination, Julie.
I contacted Mike Morrell about the “Julie is bat shit crazy” proliferation that I believe he did do, and confirmed by two separate sources. He denies but I believe he did indeed proliferate that abuse, and having never actually met me. In his defense, he was just delivering the company line and drank the kool aid. He denies he ever said that to my two confirmed sources, but he does admit saying the exact same phrase “batshit crazy” about Becky Garrison to which I requested here and now a public apology that I assume will be accepted….the time is now and the place is here. Mike, lead the way.
I DID, however, call Becky Garrison bat-shit crazy once upon a time