Join our Newsletter
If you like The NakedJournal, you'll enjoy my weekly newsletter about deconstruction, freedom, and life in general.
This drawing is inspired by the Ouroboros Snake... of the snake eating its own tail.
What came first? The chicken or the egg? What came first? The thug or the theology? I read Tony Jones' thoughts on Mark Driscoll.
Jones has always admired Driscoll, maybe envies him a little, wants the best for him, believes he can be redeemed, and suggests that things can be restored.
What I found most interesting though is that Jones believes the problem with Driscoll is theological.
That is, did Driscoll become the focus of concern because of his theology? Or was it because of his behavior?
I'm concerned that Jones' post reflects the refusal of the church to understand spiritual abuse. It neglects the pathology of its abusive leaders. I don't think this is being fair to the victims or the perpetrators of spiritual abuse. People are victims of not just a bad theology, but a pathological cruelty.
I don't think Driscoll's theology made this happen. Driscoll "embraced" his toxic version of theology because it aligned with his moral compass. It fit his personality. It worked for him to achieve his goals. Then it manifested the worst in him. Then he continued to develop his toxic theology in order to make more room for his pathological behavior. Mars Hill Church too.
Jones' sentence, "It could have happened to any of us." is true, because I believe we all participate in this dynamic. Theology is our creation. It is a reflection of our drives and desires.
Then, not satisfied to only be the product of our drives and desires, it also becomes the producer of them. Theology is a vicious cycle of our desperate need to understand and control our universe.
Step into this cycle at any point and you can see that we are both the root and fruit of our theology and pathology.
And yes, it spins out of control by manifesting itself in toxic, controlling, and abusive behavior. Nothing can be done about bad theology because of free thought and speech.
But we can do something when this manifests itself in bad behavior. Cruel theology is a nuisance. Cruel behavior is unacceptable.
When Driscoll thinks bully to his people, we can say please stop. But when he actually bullies people, we can step in and say you will stop now!
I don't think this is a theological issue. I think it is a pathological one. Not just for Driscoll and Jones, but for the entire church.
If we would be healed, our theology would take care of itself.
1080 comments
Commenting so I can subscribe by email to new comments. This has been a remarkable thread, and I’m in awe of the bravery, strength, and truth-telling on display here.
And yes. I misspelled my own name. Sheesh!
Julie,
I do not anticipate this going well, but I am glad there will be a third party for your own protection and I am also impressed with your consistent open door.
You are a beautiful person. Keep being that. It makes the ugly in the world a little easier to bear.
May it go well, Julie. I wish you the best, courageous lady.
Update: Doug Pagitt has agreed to meet with me and a 3rd party mediator. My purpose is to be heard and to forgive and I do not have any higher expectations than that. I want peace and closure. How dare I claim to be a loving person who seeks peace if I do not set this straight. Anything short of reconciliation is a hypocrite. I do expect attack, intimidation and bullying tactics. I do not expect any genuine remorse or any admission of any wrongdoing whatsoever. I do expect the facts to be twisted and denied as they were in our face-to-face conversation in his driveway the other night where he denied ever saying things he did indeed say. I am willing to let that all go. He knows and I know he knows I know and that is enough for me. I want to be heard look him in the eye and say you could have made a difference for good and you could have improved the outcome for my three children (and still can) and yet chose to do nothing. That’s enabling. Running me out of a church and making me prove my child attended preschool there…those behaviors are of a man whose frantic to keep things under wraps, whether he’ll ever admit to it or not is irrelevant.