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What Is Purity Culture and Why Is It Harmful?
For the past several months I’ve been posting what I call my Sexy Sunday cartoons that challenge Purity Culture. I frequently get comments or messages such as, “What’s wrong with purity? And what’s wrong with a culture that promotes it?”
So I want to write a short post on what I think is wrong with Purity Culture.
Right away I want to make a couple of disclaimers.
- I am not a sex therapist.
- I am not a psychologist or therapist.
- What gives me a little authority in this area is that I grew up in conservative Christianity. I was a pastor of local congregations for 30 years. I have my own experiences and observations of Purity Culture. So what I’m sharing here are my own opinions on Purity Culture.
What Is Purity Culture?
Purity culture, found mainly in evangelical Christianity, stresses the importance of young unmarried women's purity. It encourages waiting until marriage for sex, discourages any sexual exploration, and reinforces traditional gender roles. The central message is that a girl's or woman's worth is tied to her purity, particularly her virginity.
Purity Culture and It's Use Of Fear To Control
Fear serves as a powerful mechanism within purity culture to maintain adherence to its ideals of chastity and sexual restraint, often at the expense of individuals' mental and emotional well-being.
3 Reasons Why Purity Culture Is So Harmful
Purity Culture has a Negative View of the Body
Even though Purity Culture seems obsessed about the body, especially the female body, it is negatively obsessed with it. It condemns or at least is suspicious of the body… the flesh. It uses a lot of scriptures, such as Paul’s dichotomy of the flesh versus the spirit, to justify its negative view of the body. It believes it cannot be trusted, and that its propensity is towards sexual misbehaviour. Its primary belief is that it must be tamed rather than enjoyed.
Purity Culture Cultivates Shame
Because of purity culture's negative view of the body and it’s attempt to master it, it uses shame as an effective way to control people and their attitudes and actions around sex. Shame, one of the most powerful motivators on earth, is often a toxic emotion instilled by a Puritanical hyper-moralism around the body. Shame around such things as the body, physical touch, sexual intimacy, and masturbation, is so deeply instilled in people that they find it extremely difficult if not impossible to overcome it and just enjoy their bodies and the bodies of the one(s) they love.
Purity Culture Targets Women and Girls
Wikipedia says that “Purity Culture is a subculture within Christianity which emphasizes subjective individual ‘purity’, generally associated with female chastity.” Yes, men and boys are also included in Purity Culture. But the emphasis is on girls and women to remain chaste, virgins, until they marry a man. I believe Purity Culture is rooted in patriarchal ideology. It is sexist and even misogynistic, since it elevates women to an unrealistic fantasy men imagine about women. For example, it is far more devastating to a woman’s reputation and future to have sex before marriage than it is for a man.
Cartoons Depicting Purity Culture
For the past several months I’ve been posting what I call my Sexy Sunday cartoons that challenge Purity Culture. Here is one of them titled, Future Husband.
I think it’s harmful to have such a negative and suspicious view of the body. It robs us of our agency and makes us victims of our own bodies and ultimately our own selves. When we have to constantly rely on an external authority— legislation or person— it makes us lose our independence and stifles our growth to maturity.
Shame, although it may prevent someone from administering immediate harm to someone, is a toxic emotion in the long term. It is an unreliable control of behaviour and robs us of our autonomy and independent decision-making abilities. Healthy adults can decide how to behave in consensual sexual relationships.
The patriarchy runs deep, and its roots sink way down into Christian culture. Christianity is and always has been a patriarchal religion where sexism and misogyny abound and where women and girls are second-class citizens and suffer as a result.
What’s so bad About Purity Culture.
It’s anti-body, uses shame, and is misogynistic.
That’s enough to make it a serious problem.
4 comments
I was 6.
You were 14.
You remember…shower.
Ya…you will answer for that.
You hate confrontation…but your running away is a telling sign.
You can avoid being responsible…but there are legal issues with your molesting me in the shower.
David…ot has caught up to you.
With mom passed, and dad with Dementia…along with me retiring and oweing noan nothing…i am prepared to have you held responsible.
The other legal matter will be slander and lies against dad and mom…as well me.
I have spent many hours collecting your blogs, art, interviews.
My next step is legal.
I do not think you will escape this one.
Your own words have exposed why you avoid…textbook.
My theapist has helped me deal with this sexual molesting … and seek counsel, which I have.
Dave…you are running free and you are the captain of your ship.
The rocks in front of ypur boat, were placed there by you…many years ago.
With mom gone..and dad in his condition…it is time to deal with the truth…i didnt want them to see this step i am taking….it would crush them.
You had no right to take me into the shower. You had no right to push your body against mine and soap me up and rinse me.
That event happened…around the same time as you and Bernie A.
You were 14 when he diddled you.
You were also sexually molested prior to that with 2 teenage boys.
I was your target.
Funny that no one was home with you and Bernie…and when you took me into the shower at 6…and you at 14 explains why you would do such a thing to me.
You have a very serious issue of being accountable…
…not this time David.
There are authorities larger than you.
I hope you find what ypu are looking for….but know you wont until you decontruct your ego and come clean.
I am giving you a heads up.
Nakedpastor… this will be your most difficult valley.
I am prepared to reach out to all your blogger friends….as well your publisher.
I want you to address this before you release a book on children …
We’ll see.
Snap out of it Dave.
You cannot run from accountabilty.
You have options…think through have you would like to proceed.
John
I was 6.
You were 14.
You remember…shower.
Ya…you will answer for that.
You hate confrontation…but your running away is a telling sign.
You can avoid being responsible…but there are legal issues with your molesting me in the shower.
David…ot has caught up to you.
With mom passed, and dad with Dementia…along with me retiring and oweing noan nothing…i am prepared to have you held responsible.
The other legal matter will be slander and lies against dad and mom…as well me.
I have spent many hours collecting your blogs, art, interviews.
My next step is legal.
I do not think you will escape this one.
Your own words have exposed why you avoid…textbook.
My theapist has helped me deal with this sexual molesting … and seek counsel, which I have.
Dave…you are running free and you are the captain of your ship.
The rocks in front of ypur boat, were placed there by you…many years ago.
With mom gone..and dad in his condition…it is time to deal with the truth…i didnt want them to see this step i am taking….it would crush them.
You had no right to take me into the shower. You had no right to push your body against mine and soap me up and rinse me.
That event happened…around the same time as you and Bernie A.
You were 14 when he diddled you.
You were also sexually molested prior to that with 2 teenage boys.
I was your target.
Funny that no one was home with you and Bernie…and when you took me into the shower at 6…and you at 14 explains why you would do such a thing to me.
You have a very serious issue of being accountable…
…not this time David.
There are authorities larger than you.
I hope you find what ypu are looking for….but know you wont until you decontruct your ego and come clean.
I am giving you a heads up.
Nakedpastor… this will be your most difficult valley.
I am prepared to reach out to all your blogger friends….as well your publisher.
I want you to address this before you release a book on children …
We’ll see.
Snap out of it Dave.
You cannot run from accountabilty.
You have options…think through have you would like to proceed.
John
I lived purity culture. I was traumatized from the church when i made a sexual ..er…mistake.
I am almost 49 years old
Ive been trying…but how do I undo this damage??
As I move toward being an octogenarian I reflect and see how Purity Culture has limited my enjoyment of being sexual. Lots of regrets at this point but acceptance of the fact that I cannot change the past. I have basically left the church behind and discovered that I am worthy of a direct relationship with my Higher Power as I understand him.