when you think you're trying to help but they don't

"Trying to Help" cartoon by nakedpastor David Hayward One of the most uncomfortable moments in my life is when Lisa wants to talk with me about an issue in our relationship. I hate it because it means I probably have to go through a period of
  • intense self-reflection,
  • brutal honesty,
  • humble repentance, and
  • determined restoration.
It is painful but necessary if we want to grow in healthy ways and make our relationship better. There are a lot of people who would rather not go through this process. So they don't. Their relationships either stagnate into a vacuous wasteland or they break up. It's the very same with the church! What some people interpret as impertinent questions leading to unnecessary discomfort and unfortunate disunity is actually an attempt to improve our individual lives and the community we desire to share. Those remarks inside the church... I've heard them all. Often. Frequently. The truth is I care about the spiritual health of people. I also care about the spiritual health of communities. My observation is that people are concluding that in order to take care of their own spiritual lives it is necessary for them to leave the spiritual communities because they are at enmity with one another. It shouldn't be this way, but for many, it is. I would like to do my part to repair this. Join my community The Lasting Supper where we try to do this as best we can online. Read the story of Sophia who made the choice to escape in order to thrive!
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