Jesus and a Zombie Caption Contest

"Bread of Life"

“Bread of Life”


It’s time for another Caption This Contest! I’m away from home so I had to photoshop this one based on two separate cartoons sewn together.

Provide a caption for this cartoon. Let’s have fun.

The winner gets a fine art reproduction print of the completed cartoon, signed, sealed, and delivered to their door! A joint effort between the nakedpastor and the winner! I’ll sign it then you can sign it once you get it. Something you can hang up and brag about.

All you need to do is 2 things!

1. Leave a comment here on my blog with your caption. (ONE ENTRY ONLY!)
2. Sign up for my emails. (If you do, you also get a free e-book, “The Stages of Deconstruction”.)

That’s it!

I’ll post the winner tomorrow morning here with the completed cartoon.

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47 Responses

  1. Adam Julians says:

    A thought bubble going form Jesus – “It’s life but not as I know it”

  2. David Waters says:

    Rapture time! Shake it down now, whats yer Daddy say?

  3. Bart Zwaan says:

    Say what You will but I’m pretty content with Adam’s heritage.

  4. Sabio Lantz says:

    OK, OK, I’ve been up walkin’ the streets ever since your pathetically short stint in hell. You get a perfect body, but I still look like sin. I’m ready for a new body. So are you comin’ back soon? (Matt 27:51-53)

    [concerning Jesus’ “pathetically short stay in hell”, see “Was Jesus a Coward?“]

  5. Zoltan Molnar says:

    But someone will ask, “How are the dead raised? With what kind of body will they come?” How foolish!

  6. Gary says:

    Uhm, Lazarus? Is that you?

  7. RollieB says:


  8. Sharmini says:

    Not the kind of resurrection I had in mind…

  9. Felicia says:

    You will fit in perfectly. We have a lot of walking dead around here.

  10. Brenton says:

    Not exactly what I had in mind by having life abundantly.

  11. Nola says:

    To be alive you’ve got to learn that loving others doesn’t mean craving them.

  12. Neil Smith says:

    Gosh… So many directions to go. But I’ll go with this…

    “I’ve searched these Scriptures daily to find life, yet I’m still full of dead men’s bones.”

    Or something to that effect.

  13. Adam Julians says:

    Sabio, in your link you wrote:

    ” Jesus was no hero, by the common story, Jesus was a mundane coward.”

    Yes and you previously said an “Californian way” if it works for you it exists. Therefore:

    Some people believe God exists and that works for them.
    Some people believe God does not exist and that works for them.
    If it works for you it exists.
    So God both exists and does not exist.

    So I have been wrong to say that either God exists or doesn’t exist and David has been wrong to say God exists or not, it is two sides of the same coin.

    I am so glad we have that all figured out now.

  14. Melody says:

    “Looks like John Piper got to another one.”

  15. Erin says:

    “Jim, we really need to discuss your fundamentalist approach” -Jesus

  16. Autumn Calvert says:

    Hell hath no fury like a pastor scorned.

  17. Josh says:

    You started this biatch!

  18. Kirk Moore says:

    Your sins are forgiven.

  19. Charity says:

    Jesus: “But, but, but…I came to give you life and life abundantly!”

  20. Seth says:

    Zombie: I’m also undead.

    Jesus: That’s not resurrection!

  21. Pat Green says:

    I wish you would stop eating their brains.

  22. Tracey Cullers says:

    I gotta get that Bible back. He’s ruining my reputation.

  23. Cynthy says:

    You took John 3:16 literally?

  24. Philip says:

    How about, ” The Book of the Dead.”

  25. Kevin Miller says:

    I told you to stop reading that book so literally.

  26. Kris799 says:

    You rose from the dead, too?! Awesome!

  27. Kris 799 says:

    Zombie to Jesus: You rose from the dead, too?! Awesome!

  28. Pat Green says:

    I thought I had this until Kris 799 posted. That was amazing!

  29. Douglas says:

    Jesus: Humanity is mind-controlled and only slightly more conscious than your average zombie. You’re welcome.

    Zombie: Uuunnnnnhhh!!!

  30. Sabio Lantz says:

    You said “Eat my body and drink my blood” and we decided to just keep going!

  31. Sabio Lantz says:

    Why should I stop eating people? Your apostle, Paul, tells us “Eat whatever is sold in the meat market, asking no questions for conscience’ sake;” (1 Cor 10:24-26)

  32. Kristin says:

    Jesus: What’s this you’re preaching to my people as literal truth?
    Zombie: It’s the “living” word! You’re long buried.

  33. Dörte Meyer says:

    Jesus: Resurrection is a tough one to master… keep trying, it took me three days to figure it out.

  34. Darren says:

    Jesus saying, “The things in that book you’re holding; I do not think they mean what you think they mean.”

  35. Darren says:

    “No, I said Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind. Not with all your braaaaiiiinnss!”

  36. Rachel Frank says:

    “I thought it was my job to bring about the apocalypse, but you seem to be doing a good job of it without me.”

  37. Meghann Tennant says:

    “I thought you were going to a “revival”…?

  38. Marie says:

    Jesus saying, “Well, I’ve said that you can tell my followers by their fruits. I guess there is the occasional nut as well.”

  39. chaddo says:

    the walking dead tries to convert Jesus to the “true” religion.

  40. David says:

    “It’s full of allegories and metaphors, too. Take, umm, ‘Whoever eats my flesh’, for example…”

  41. Nick Gypps says:

    Hey you sinner! Have you died and been raised?

  42. Deb says:

    Says here you’re the bread of life…. nom, nom, nom.

  43. Preety says:

    Hey Jesus, we are the Great Undeads!

  44. So we have a winner. Deb’s made me laugh the most! Thanks Deb. All of them were clever and good. But we needed one winner. Deb… I’ll need your mailing address so I can send you the completed cartoon. Send it to my email haywardart at gmail dot com!

    For the rest of you, since you’ve signed up for my newsletter, I’m going to mail you a high-resolution file you can download to print it if you want! Thanks for playing!

  45. Red Rabbit says:

    I know this is late but here’s one more for giggles:

    “we’re the same, you and i!”

    (didn’t Jesus come back from the dead through resurrection and all? pretty sure that makes him a zombie too haha)

  46. Thanks Red Rabbit. They were all good.