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This drawing is inspired by the Ouroboros Snake... of the snake eating its own tail.
What came first? The chicken or the egg? What came first? The thug or the theology? I read Tony Jones' thoughts on Mark Driscoll.
Jones has always admired Driscoll, maybe envies him a little, wants the best for him, believes he can be redeemed, and suggests that things can be restored.
What I found most interesting though is that Jones believes the problem with Driscoll is theological.
That is, did Driscoll become the focus of concern because of his theology? Or was it because of his behavior?
I'm concerned that Jones' post reflects the refusal of the church to understand spiritual abuse. It neglects the pathology of its abusive leaders. I don't think this is being fair to the victims or the perpetrators of spiritual abuse. People are victims of not just a bad theology, but a pathological cruelty.
I don't think Driscoll's theology made this happen. Driscoll "embraced" his toxic version of theology because it aligned with his moral compass. It fit his personality. It worked for him to achieve his goals. Then it manifested the worst in him. Then he continued to develop his toxic theology in order to make more room for his pathological behavior. Mars Hill Church too.
Jones' sentence, "It could have happened to any of us." is true, because I believe we all participate in this dynamic. Theology is our creation. It is a reflection of our drives and desires.
Then, not satisfied to only be the product of our drives and desires, it also becomes the producer of them. Theology is a vicious cycle of our desperate need to understand and control our universe.
Step into this cycle at any point and you can see that we are both the root and fruit of our theology and pathology.
And yes, it spins out of control by manifesting itself in toxic, controlling, and abusive behavior. Nothing can be done about bad theology because of free thought and speech.
But we can do something when this manifests itself in bad behavior. Cruel theology is a nuisance. Cruel behavior is unacceptable.
When Driscoll thinks bully to his people, we can say please stop. But when he actually bullies people, we can step in and say you will stop now!
I don't think this is a theological issue. I think it is a pathological one. Not just for Driscoll and Jones, but for the entire church.
If we would be healed, our theology would take care of itself.
1080 comments
Tru, that’s for sure. Some things are too deep of cuts to forgive.
Sometimes, David, it’s just so much easier to come up with a creative stream of swears to emote, as some situations (like what I read in this thread) are beyond words.
Correction on 1
Should read: “Some things are too deep and too ugly to forgive.”
I’m going to echo Kimberly – Julie, I believe you. I stand behind you.
I also want to address a couple of things I think are insidious:
1. Healing doesn’t require forgiving the abuser. Some things are too deep and too ugly to abuse. A survivor can move on and heal without that.
2. Forgiveness should only come if and when the survivor is ready. All of this pushing survivors to forgive just makes me feel like the reputation and needs of abusers and their organizations takes precedence above the needs of those who’ve been abused. And that just sucks.
3. That whole Matthew 18 stuff only works if the abusers and their supporters are honest and humble. Which … yeah, right. Otherwise it’s simply another way to shut people up.
@Syl: Very, very well-said. Your words have affected me with deep resonance. Thank you.