Deconstruction and the Pressure to Explain Yourself

"Nail Me Down" cartoon by nakedpastor David Hayward

Cartoon Description: Jesus says to a group "Their main frustration with me is they know they can't nail me down until they do it literally."

Deconstruction and the Pressure to Explain Yourself

Deconstructing in front of others is hard.

They always try to nail you down.

You’re pressured to explain yourself.

Here’s why:

1. You were taught you always had to give a reason for the hope that lies within you. You had to be ready to give your testimony. The pressure to declare your faith and be a witness was constant.

2. You were trained to confess your spiritual condition on demand. Your spiritual life is yours. No one should ask about your sex life, finances or politics. Same with spiritual. None of their business! It’s private. What you believe or don’t is your issue, not theirs.

3. You were encouraged to be nosey about others. Now, do you ask people to explain themselves spiritually? Do you assess what others believe or don’t so you know how to think of them or relate to them? If you do, you have more work to do.

The more you grow the less you care about others’ beliefs. You will care about their quality as people. Your spirituality is your business and theirs is theirs. You don’t ask because it’s invasive and rude. You shouldn’t be asked either.

Still need something to say? Try these:


“I don’t feel like talking about that now.”
“I’m changing and don’t feel ready to share it.”
“I’d rather not discuss it.”


“That’s none of your business.”
“I have to go.”
“I don’t talk about that with just anyone.”
“I don’t believe that anymore.”

Don’t be nailed down.
Just be you.
No need to explain.

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