Stopped Going to Church Cartoon by nakedpastor David Hayward
What Your Family Thinks of You When You Stop Going to Church
David Hayward
1 minute read
What Your Family Thinks of You When You Stop Going to Church
1 minute read
Stopped Going to Church Cartoon by nakedpastor David Hayward
I’ve been asked this many times. Usually by people who are deconstructing and are afraid it means they are going to lose their faith and deconvert from Christianity altogether. They are not the same. This, in my opinion, is the difference: Deconstruction vs Deconversion Deconstruction is an open-ended process of taking apart beliefs, structures, and belonging with no predetermined destination. You could end up anywhere on the belief/non-belief spectrum. I shouldn’t say “end up”, because I think deconstruction is a way of life that manifests itself in our perpetual evolution. While there are stages of deconstruction, there’s no fixed path through them, and no guarantee of where they’ll lead you. Deconversion is just one possible outcome of that process where you lose both the belief and the religious identity. To insist that this is the only logical goal of deconstruction is just the old demand for certainty in new clothes. But many people do end up here and are content to be here. And that’s fine. What Deconstruction Is Really About As I’ve said many times, “There’s only one way to deconstruct, and that’s your way!” I claim that deconstruction is a way of life. It’s not only a phase on the way to a more progressive theology. It’s not just a questioning of beliefs, but belief itself. Of course, because this is such a radical orientation, few assume it. Instead, many simply settle on a tweaked version of their previous belief system and miss out on the true benefit of deconstruction: liberation!
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Not because it’s trendy.Not because it’s easy.But because it’s right! 1. People deserve to live as themselves There’s a quiet kind of violence in being told your reality isn’t real. In fact, the violence against trans people isn't always quiet. Trans people push back against that every day, often at great cost, just to live honestly. Supporting them isn’t complicated. It’s about respecting someone’s truth, even if it challenges your assumptions. I Just Want to Live Trans Sheep is available for digital download. 2. Harm has too often been justified as “truth.” Too many have experienced rejection, exclusion, or even spiritual abuse in the name of certainty. But when this kind of so-called “truth” leaves people isolated, afraid, or erased, it’s worth asking what kind of truth that really is. Support means choosing compassion over control, people over rigid systems, love over dogma. I Love You As You Are is available for digital download. 3. Dignity shouldn’t be up for debate Trans people aren’t issues to argue about. They’re human beings to know, love, and stand with. Basic things like safety, healthcare, and belonging shouldn’t depend on whether others understand or agree. Supporting trans people means refusing to make their humanity or our care for them conditional. This original drawing, "Do Not Fear Trans," is available for purchase. I support trans people because I believe authenticity is sacred. Because I’ve seen what exclusion does. Because love, if it’s real, doesn’t draw lines around who gets to belong. And because everyone deserves the freedom to be fully, visibly, unapologetically alive.P.S. If you liked this blog and cartoons, I've put together 3 wholesome and affirming trans cartoons too.
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Some of my greatest inspiration to be true to myself, to be and embrace my most authentic self, come from LGBTQIA+ people. With incredible and admirable courage, they desire and endeavour to be who they are, and that motivates me to do the same. Pride doesn’t start at a parade. It starts in the quiet moment you decide not to hide. Pride is refusing to wear the mask society requires you to wear in order to fit in. What Do You Want? is available for digital download. Authenticity is an act of courage For many, being yourself hasn’t been safe. It comes with risk: rejection, misunderstanding, even loss. So choosing honesty, even in small ways, is no small thing. Pride lives in those decisions. Pride lives in every step away from pretending and toward truth. It's about embracing the beauty of authenticity in others and ourselves. There’s no one right way to belongNot everyone celebrates loudly. Not everyone waves a flag. Some people are still figuring things out. Some are healing. Some are just surviving. Pride makes room for all of it. There’s no checklist for being “out enough” or “proud enough.” Being yourself, wherever you are, is enough. Your existence challenges the lieThe lie says you should be different to be loved. The lie demands that you be a certain way in order to fit into the prescribed box of so-called "love" that is being offered. The lie says that you have to edit yourself to belong. But every time you show up as you are, you disrupt that narrative. You remind others, sometimes quietly, sometimes powerfully, that authenticity is not something to apologize for. You can buy a print of You Don't Gotta Do Nuthin! You don’t have to perform Pride.You don’t have to prove anything. The best way to celebrate Pride is to be yourself. Not someday. Not when it’s easier. But in whatever way you can, right now, because celebrating pride is so important!
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