The Naked Journal
Thoughts, musings, and meanings behind NakedPastor Art.
The Naked Journal
What Is Spiritual Bypassing? (And How To Heal From It)
What Is Spiritual Bypassing? Spiritual bypassing was coined by John Welwood to describe a process he saw happening in the Buddhist community he was in. So, yes, spiritual bypassing happens in all kinds of spiritual contexts not just religious ones or Christian ones. It is now a commonly used term that describes attempts to use spirituality and spiritual practices to avoid facing and dealing with unpleasant emotions, experiences, and realities in order to feel good and avoid discomfort and painful truths. Although spiritual bypassing can be tempting it's important to know it doesn't work. Over the years many experts have added to the conversation on spiritual bypassing. Psychologist Ingrid Clayton highlights that spiritual bypassing is like a sneaky way our minds protect us. She explains, "It's a bit like putting up a barrier to avoid facing reality, shutting off our emotions, and avoiding the bigger picture. It's more about escaping than facing things head-on, and the difference is so small that we usually don't even realize we're doing it." It's important to note that spiritual bypassing is not limited to any particular community; rather, it can manifest wherever there's an emphasis on spiritual advancement without addressing the complexities of human experience. Examples Of Spiritual Bypassing I’m Not Lonely. I Have Jesus. Pray Your Depression Away Everything Happens For A Reason I'm Just Being in the Present Moment I'm Focusing on the Light, Ignoring the Darkness Why Spiritual Bypassing Is So Tempting Spiritual Bypassing is tempting because it seems like an easy way to escape from pain. But bypassing your emotions will never work. Experiencing our emotions and vulnerability is a fundamental part of our human experience. Using spiritual bypassing is just a way of kicking the can down the road. How To Heal From Spiritual Bypassing Recovering from spiritual bypassing can vary greatly from person to person, depending on the specific kind of spiritual bypassing they went through and how deeply it affected them. For those in religious groups who have suffered years of spiritual abuse., they might find themselves struggling to heal from religious trauma. The work of overcoming this takes time and will look different than those who experienced spiritual bypassing in yoga and mindfulness circles or toxic self-help movements. Every flavour deserves focused attention to heal.Here are a 3 ways to heal and confront your experience with spiritual bypassing regardless of the community you've experienced it in. Admit That You Have Suffered From Spiritual Bypassing. Just as with healing from spiritual abuse, admitting that it happened is the first step to recovery. Don’t deny or minimize or dismiss it. You must acknowledge that it happened and the effect it had on you. Avoid labeling emotions as good or bad. Understand that emotions arise naturally and aren't inherently labeled as positive or negative. Permit yourself to experience them without passing judgment, acknowledging that every emotion holds important insights into your inner condition. Be Kind To Yourself. When faced with an undesired feeling, your initial reaction might be self-criticism or avoidance. However, neither approach is effective. Instead, try to offer kindness to yourself for experiencing this emotion. Understand that it likely has a purpose. That purpose is for your healing and wholeness. Start A Journal. Socrates said it well in saying, "The unexamined life is not worth living". Journaling is a great tool for self-Awareness. In journaling you will learn that you are a very complex person, deep and wise in your way, and even more compassionate because you are aware… aware of your surroundings and yourself. (Me writing in my journal.) Related Resources on Healing Why Is It Important To Be Vulnerable?The Power of Vulnerability for Healing Religious TraumaHealing From Religious TraumaInner Child Healing After Deconstruction
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3 Reasons We Hide Our Light: Religious Trauma & Self Worth
I’m observing an online friend of mine who is enjoying some success in her life. She’s truly amazing, and it’s fun to watch her enjoy her amazingness being appreciated. I’m thinking, “Girl, you have no idea how amazing you are! You just wait!” Marianne Williamson has said, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’” I exactly know this feeling. And even though the sayings of Jesus often get turned into evangelistic propaganda, such sayings as, “Don’t hide your light under a bushel” or “A city set on a hill cannot be hidden”… are powerful messages to our selves and how we can live courageously, authentically, and openly. Like my cartoon illustrates, we only reveal a tiny bit of ourselves. As amazing as we are, we dare expose only a fraction of our amazing selves. Why is that? I think about this a lot. 3 reasons why I think we hide our light: We Don’t Even Think We're Amazing Socrates said the unexamined life is not worth living. I see it all the time… when we start examining our lives, we discover an infinite universe of who we are. So many people I know have no idea how amazing they are. To be honest, I’ve come to conclude that I am far more amazing than I already think I am. That’s funny to say, and sounds egotistical, but it’s true! I know I have some amazing qualities and can do amazing things. I admit that. I own it. I embrace it. But I know enough about human nature that there is unfathomable amazingness waiting for me to discover and uncover and reveal to you. And I already know this is one hundred percent true about you too! The Church Taught Us Not to Appear Proud I had a friend who was a carpenter. He did excellent work and was in high demand. He did very well financially. So he bought a nice pickup truck fully loaded. Beautiful! But the response from the locals was like, “Look at that guy! Who does he think he is? Some kind of big shot!” You know what I’m talking about. I was always instructed to keep my head down unless I wanted it shot off. Society is a powerful levelling force that we all obey for fear of being singled out, ridiculed, and rejected. We don’t want people to think we are proud, arrogant, and haughty. We know we are good at what we do, but we are afraid to say so because we’ll quickly be put in our place. We Don’t Want to Admit to Ourselves How Amazing We Are This is the hardest one to grasp. From childhood I was taught to be humble and not proud. Even to admit, “I’m good at this!” was a no-no. My biggest revelation that this dynamic was at play in my life was illustrated best in my Sophia drawing Angel. She realizes she is amazing, but is embarrassed to admit it. Do you know this feeling… where you suddenly realize you are beautiful, you are talented, you are wise, you are whatever… and you’re almost ashamed of it? I sure do! It’s too bad we do this to ourselves because ultimately, we aren’t just creating a barrier between ourselves and our Selves, but also between ourselves and others. Yes, we need ourselves as we are in all our fulness, but they need us too… in all our fullness. Disregard the Attempts of Others to Dull Our Shine There are too many of us who make ourselves small. We shrink to fit into the shadows of others. Especially when healing from religious trauma. I hope you put yourself first and work on your spiritual healing. And, if you're in need of some vulnerability art, you know where to find me! Own your light and let it shine!
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