Holy Saturday: Jonah, the Elder Brother, and Resentment

HOLY SATURDAY: JONAH, THE ELDER BROTHER, AND RESENTMENT Today is Holy Saturday. It reminds me of the sign of Jonah. This got me thinking about resentment. Why was Jonah swallowed by the great fish?Because he resented that Nineveh would experience God’s love. Why was the elder brother disturbed when the prodigal son came home?Because he resented that his brother would experience the father’s love. Jonah felt Nineveh didn’t deserve it. The older brother felt the prodigal son didn’t deserve it either. The wicked Ninevites, like the sinful brother, should not enjoy the same privilege Jonah and the elder brother do. It’s not fair! It wasn't just the love, but what it looked like: No punishment. No payment. No promise of permanent change. Instead, parties and celebration! They both resented that they received love anyway.They both resented that they were welcomed anyway.They both think love is a deserved privilege and not a gift. But love is always a gift!It has nothing to do with whether or not it is deserved. I want to go deeper. Resentment may first present itself as a refusal to allow the other to experience love. The fact that Jonah and the elder brother resented the other being loved motivated them to prevent the other from experiencing it. Jonah ran away and sulked.The elder brother sulked and refused to join the party. Resentment. If you resent certain people being welcomed, you will try to prevent them from being welcomed. Resentment is a bitter root beneath the rejection of others.

Jesus and The Politics of Love

I often get complaints when I address political issues. People want me to stick to the spiritual realm. Impossible. Because love is political. Because religion is political.  Because what is true must apply to all of life. Love is indiscriminate. Like the sun that shines on everyone, the rain that falls on all, and gravity that pulls everything. Everyone is included. All means all. But when people respond with anger and say that all doesn’t really mean all, that some must be excluded because of who they are or what they believe, I say, “See? Suddenly we’ve become political. You’ve voted on who can be a citizen of love and who can’t.” Love refuses to stay in a neat little corner of life called “spiritual.” What we believe about people always spills over into how we treat them. Every thought, when believed long enough, eventually trickles down into behavior, systems, and policy. In other words, if you believe some people are superior and others are inferior, even quietly, eventually that belief will show up in how people are treated. History proves this over and over again. The end result can be horrific, like genocide. But it never begins there. It begins with small divisions. With drawing lines between “us” and “them.” With deciding who belongs and who doesn’t. Like the proverbial gun at the beginning of a story: at some point it must be fired. Jesus understood this. He thought positively about the marginalized: women, sex workers, tax collectors, the poor, refugees, and people from other races and cultures. But this couldn’t remain a just lofty spiritual idea. So he acted. He ate with them. Drank with them. Talked with them. Sat beside them. He loved them. The message wasn’t just “I love you,” but  “I love you in the face of a society that rejects you and pushes you aside. You deserve a place at the table just as much as anyone else!” And the authorities hated that message. Because when love crosses the boundaries society has carefully built, it threatens power. It challenges privilege. It disrupts the systems that keep some people above others. Jesus’ message was, “This is how it should be!” And those in power responded, “No. We’ll keep things the way they are. And if necessary, we’ll eliminate you to make sure it stays that way.” Love IS political!  

Finding Beauty in the Constant Transformation of Beliefs

I live on the Kennebecasis River. It’s deep, wide, and beautiful. It changes every day. It’s constantly moving with constant impact on its surroundings. Every day the same river. Every day a different river. It’s never embarrassed with its changes.Because it always possesses its river-ness. One of the things I’ve noticed in my crazy, unpredictable, changing spiritual journey, is that I constantly confuse people. They complain that they can’t categorize me. They get frustrated that no two days am I the same. Some days I’m like a calm believer and some days I’m like a stormy atheist. They can’t nail me down.     But I don’t let that bother me. I don’t stress about it. I don’t care. Because, like the river, I’m constantly transforming. Every day, something different to behold! Sometimes as gentle as can be. Other days as rough as can be. But I don’t care. Because I never lose my river-ness. Beneath all your changing beliefs is the depth of a fluid you. Besides, who is this “you”? Who is this “me”? I’ve question even that. That, for me, has become a very fluid, flighty, and impermanent thing. Fluid! Because what’s most important is not consistency of belief, but consistency of freedom and independence. Don’t be embarrassed by your different manifestations that reflect your changing thoughts that express your transforming mind that display your deep and fluid self. Be the river that you are. Fluid! You’re terribly beautiful! Every day!

The Courage To Ask: What If God Doesn’t Exist?

I help people transition through faith deconstruction through my cartoons and writings. For many, the scariest part of this ride is when the question of God’s existence arises. I comfort and encourage them not to be afraid. Look: if God exists, then this is obviously a necessary and healthy component of the transformation into a deeper wisdom concerning God. If God doesn’t exist, then you are freeing yourself, though painfully, from an illusion that brought temporary but artificial comfort.   But, I also suggest to them a third way, a middle way, between these two extremes. I promise them that if they persevere, they will learn to live within the inevitable human tension of unknowing… a place where they can rest within the question without fear and with perfect peace. Go ahead. I dare you. Ask the question.

Your Interpretation of the Bible

This is a revamped older cartoon of mine. This is a revamped older cartoon of mine. Funny story:  Years ago when I was a pastor I was invited to attend a weekend workshop on biblical interpretation. The theologian's intent was to debunk the philosophy of deconstruction and prove to us that there was an objective interpretation to the Bible. We were assigned a bunch of books to read on the philosophy of deconstruction, literary analysis, and hermeneutics. Basically, the philosophy of deconstruction, developed by Derrida, analyzes, questions, and challenges the relationship between text and meaning. For me, the workshop backfired. I left that weekend appreciating the deconstruction theory. So I drew this cartoon and I still stand by it.  It reflects an important lesson I’ve learned through my journey through theological deconstruction. Especially when people say things like... "It's not me who says it. The Bible says it!" "Clearly, the Bible says..." "God said it. I believe it. That settles it!" Not true! You have the Bible. You have your interpretation of it. What you leave with is your interpretation of it. Period.  Until we understand that, we really can't have a decent conversation about the text and its meaning. 

When the Church Joins Itself to the State

Theology Only Makes Sense if Your'e Not the One Suffering

Here Jesus is in the exact same scenario as Job was with his comforters. All the theology in the world only satisfies those who aren't suffering. To those who are suffering, no matter how pious, lofty, or holy the words are, they do nothing to abate the pain. I claim almost all theology is created from a place of privilege. Just look at the theologies that aren't... Black theology. LGBTQ theology. Liberation theology. Disability theology... any theology that is on the side of the suffering, the oppressed, the marginalized... is considered radical and even offensive... not included in the main stream. Because theology only makes sense if you're not the one suffering.

A Thought-Provoking Reflection on Christ and Transformation

My wife Lisa asked what "change" meant in this drawing. Does it mean he's a homeless person asking for change, or that as the Christ he would want change, as in change in us and the world? I said yes. Change is more than just a commentary on money. Change asks the question in a larger sense- can you contribute to changing the system? This image is a part of my Image Of Christ Series. It consists of 16 Images of Christ meant to capture the idea that there are many interpretations and reconciliations of Christ. From Christ as a woman to Christ as a refugee, the Images of Christ celebrate diversity, empathy, and inclusion.If you'd like to learn more watch my Youtube video below.

How to Love Yourself Through Your Religious Deconstruction

You are totally confused. Your journey does not make sense. You have difficulty understanding where you are and therefore even greater difficulty in loving yourself and articulating yourself. You're feeling a mixture of shame, frustration, fear, and maybe even guilt. Here's a simple little strategy I apply when I'm feeling this way: Talk To Yourself With Love as If You Were Your Best Friend This really happened. My friend Sue (not her real name) and I are meeting for a coffee. Sue says she is deconstructing her beliefs and completely confused. She no longer believes many of the things she used to believe. She doesn't know what she believes anymore. Tears fill her eyes. She says she's even questioning the existence of God. In fact, she expresses fear that she might turn into an atheist. She wrestles night and day with her confusion, shame, and guilt. She says she really feels like a refugee lost at sea and wonders if she'll ever ever find solid ground again. She's in no-man's land, belonging nowhere and to no one. There doesn't seem to be anyone who can listen or who understands. To make matters worse, those who love her are very concerned and express it in meaning-laden comments loaded with ulterior motives that make her self-doubt loom even larger in her mind. I give her a tissue. She's embarrassed‚ not just by her tears, but with herself. I notice she seldom takes a sip of her coffee because she's so absorbed in her anguish. I point this out, and she admits that this is what her life is actually like‚ she can't just live life because she's stuck inside her predicament, tangled up in her thoughts, and trapped inside her confusion. I recognize her impatience. She's desperate to settle down, find a home, and be fully and confidently herself again. Listen to Yourself Without Judgement  I don't try to correct her or change her. Why? Because I'm not afraid of or surprised by what she's going through. I recognize it from my own experience. I'm very familiar with what she's enduring. I think she's in a good place. A very good place. She's growing and it hurts. So I'm not going to say anything to endorse or fortify her negative feelings about herself‚ her shame, her frustration, her fear, her guilt. Although these are natural, these are negative, judgmental, and even destructive ideas, echoed by her concerned family and friends, that are attempting to drag her back to her former self. I love her and care for her and tell her that she's doing an amazing job and that if she gives herself time she will come out the other side of this dense fog where she will find confidence, peace, and even happiness again. I remind her that she's smart and will figure this out. I believe in her! In this tender moment, I just try to make her feel as normal, healthy, mature, and courageous as possible. Because that's what she is! She has rejected her conditioning and with full integrity wants to become a better, wiser, happier person. I'm not going to compromise that, but only encourage it. That spark I see in her dark passage‚ I'm going to fan that into flames so that she will regain her fearlessness and embrace the profound transformation she has already entered and embraced. She might not realize it, but she's committed, and I'm going to help her keep her resolve. This is not imaginary. This has actually happened many times for me‚ face to face and online with many different people. True stories. Lots of them. If You Can Encourage Others, You Can Encourage Yourself Aren't we often told that we are gentler with others than we are with ourselves? I know I am. But this is the trick. The same grace, love, and care I show to others I show to myself. As soon as I'm feeling ashamed or guilty for where I am in my journey, I immediately apply this simple technique. I treat myself like I would treat a friend like Sue sharing her journey with me. It only takes a second. That simple trick, in a split-second, immediately arouses the self-love, self-confidence, and self-care I need to be okay with where I am and to press on undeterred. It's a quick way to endorse myself. It's an immediate way towards my own self-approval. It's a fast way of getting my confidence back and forging ahead with the courage I need to accomplish it. In that rapid turnaround, I love myself and my journey again. You Can Be Your Own Spiritual Guide Try can this at home! When you're going through the profound confusion of deconstruction, treat yourself like you're your best friend. Pretend you are sitting across the table from yourself in your favorite coffee shop. Listen to yourself as if you are crazy about this person. Let your heart open softly as you embrace everything, excluding nothing, about this person. Suddenly, you should be able to suspend judgment of yourself. You should be able to have unending patience for yourself. You will love yourself and marvel at the profound meaningfulness of your own special journey towards wholeness, peace of mind, and happiness. Peace on your path, my friends.