The Naked Journal
Thoughts, musings, and meanings behind NakedPastor Art.
The Naked Journal
Why Is It Important To Be Vulnerable?
So many people see vulnerability as a weakness. As a personal failing to “keep it together”. But what they don’t see is the absolute power of vulnerability to break down barriers, connect people and help you claim your inner strength. What does it mean to be vulnerable? The first thing you have to know is that being vulnerable is not being weak. It’s being honest in a radical way. Being vulnerable is being able to feel your feelings and not bury them deep down or bottling them up until you have an angry outburst. Why Is It Important To Be Vulnerable? Vulnerability is crucial because it paves the way for emotional growth and healing. When we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, we confront our inner fears and insecurities, which fosters self-awareness and personal development. By embracing vulnerability, we create a safe space to express and process our emotions, enabling emotional healing from past traumas and difficult experiences. It encourages us to be open with others, deepening connections and fostering empathy, leading to more authentic and supportive relationships. Vulnerability also helps us challenge negative thought patterns and overcome mental barriers, contributing to a healthier and more resilient mindset. In essence, vulnerability is the key to unlocking emotional growth and healing as it empowers us to embrace our vulnerabilities and face life's challenges with courage and authenticity. How to be More Vulnerable Like learning to paint, you have to learn the muscle memory, tools and techniques that allow you to create something beautiful. Being vulnerable takes practice, in recognizing spaces that feel safe enough for you to be vulnerable, and embracing how it feels to express that side of yourself. The art of being vulnerable can be achieved with tools like introspection, patience, kindness and understanding (for yourself!). The final masterpiece of being vulnerable is that you start to uncover your authentic self. A Drawing for Vulnerability One stage in the transformation process that we can’t skip is vulnerability. When drawing my Sophia drawing series I drew this piece, Sophia Vulnerable, because I wanted to Sophia's vulnerability more graphically. As she sits next to a baby seal, one of the most vulnerable animals on the planet, she is naked, exposed, and vulnerable. But there is also something very strong and courageous about her. Mysteriously, her vulnerability and her strength aren't mutually exclusive. She's beginning to learn to combine these two and embrace them both. Sophia teaches us that, usually, we have to bare it all in order to repair it all. You’ll find that once you start being vulnerable, other people tend to find themselves responding in the same way. So let’s make a masterpiece by painting every corner of the world with some vulnerability. Related Vulnerability Resources The Power of Vulnerability for Healing Religious TraumaDrawings about vulnerability
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3 Reasons We Hide Our Light: Religious Trauma & Self Worth
I’m observing an online friend of mine who is enjoying some success in her life. She’s truly amazing, and it’s fun to watch her enjoy her amazingness being appreciated. I’m thinking, “Girl, you have no idea how amazing you are! You just wait!” Marianne Williamson has said, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’” I exactly know this feeling. And even though the sayings of Jesus often get turned into evangelistic propaganda, such sayings as, “Don’t hide your light under a bushel” or “A city set on a hill cannot be hidden”… are powerful messages to our selves and how we can live courageously, authentically, and openly. Like my cartoon illustrates, we only reveal a tiny bit of ourselves. As amazing as we are, we dare expose only a fraction of our amazing selves. Why is that? I think about this a lot. 3 reasons why I think we hide our light: We Don’t Even Think We're Amazing Socrates said the unexamined life is not worth living. I see it all the time… when we start examining our lives, we discover an infinite universe of who we are. So many people I know have no idea how amazing they are. To be honest, I’ve come to conclude that I am far more amazing than I already think I am. That’s funny to say, and sounds egotistical, but it’s true! I know I have some amazing qualities and can do amazing things. I admit that. I own it. I embrace it. But I know enough about human nature that there is unfathomable amazingness waiting for me to discover and uncover and reveal to you. And I already know this is one hundred percent true about you too! The Church Taught Us Not to Appear Proud I had a friend who was a carpenter. He did excellent work and was in high demand. He did very well financially. So he bought a nice pickup truck fully loaded. Beautiful! But the response from the locals was like, “Look at that guy! Who does he think he is? Some kind of big shot!” You know what I’m talking about. I was always instructed to keep my head down unless I wanted it shot off. Society is a powerful levelling force that we all obey for fear of being singled out, ridiculed, and rejected. We don’t want people to think we are proud, arrogant, and haughty. We know we are good at what we do, but we are afraid to say so because we’ll quickly be put in our place. We Don’t Want to Admit to Ourselves How Amazing We Are This is the hardest one to grasp. From childhood I was taught to be humble and not proud. Even to admit, “I’m good at this!” was a no-no. My biggest revelation that this dynamic was at play in my life was illustrated best in my Sophia drawing Angel. She realizes she is amazing, but is embarrassed to admit it. Do you know this feeling… where you suddenly realize you are beautiful, you are talented, you are wise, you are whatever… and you’re almost ashamed of it? I sure do! It’s too bad we do this to ourselves because ultimately, we aren’t just creating a barrier between ourselves and our Selves, but also between ourselves and others. Yes, we need ourselves as we are in all our fulness, but they need us too… in all our fullness. Disregard the Attempts of Others to Dull Our Shine There are too many of us who make ourselves small. We shrink to fit into the shadows of others. Especially when healing from religious trauma. I hope you put yourself first and work on your spiritual healing. And, if you're in need of some vulnerability art, you know where to find me! Own your light and let it shine!
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3 Reasons You Should Start Journaling
"The unexamined life is not worth living" (Socrates). Journaling helps me examine my life and provides a peaceful daily ritual for me. In this blog, I’m going to tell you about why I journal and three reasons why you should journal too. But first, a couple of side notes: First, we can all agree that faithfully writing in a journal can make one a better writer, a better storyteller, and a better thinker. Second, what style of journal you write in is your preference. I've come to learn that my favorite journal is the Moleskin-lined one. I love them. They are attractive, well-made, and durable. Okay. Preliminaries out of the way. Here’s what made me pick up a notebook and pen, to begin with. Why I Started Journaling The reason I started journaling was because Thomas Merton did. He was a Trappist monk famous for his published journals, all of which I have in my library. I aspired to be like Merton not only because he changed my life through his spiritual writing but because, for me and many others, he exemplifies the height of human spiritual progress. Now, let’s get to the benefits that I think are the most important. 1. A Preserver of Memory One of the basic benefits of keeping a journal is that you are documenting your life. I have journals that go way back to 1987. They all fill a couple of huge boxes. I can go back and read about what was happening and how I was experiencing and processing it decades ago. For example, I can go back to the day of my ordination into the Christian ministry – that’s the first entry – or I could read about the days our three kids were born. Or when Lisa and I went on a certain vacation. Or when a certain tragedy happened. I can relive every one of these moments again and again. I can also go back to the notes I’ve taken from books I’ve read. When I read a book, if I come across a really good line or section, I record it in my journal. I may also add my thoughts. This has become very useful so many times in my life. Sometimes I think to myself… just imagine if you entered all this into a software program. I could search for quotes, moments, and memories. Or maybe even publish the best bits of my notebooks as an autobiography! When you record your life in a notebook, you are creating an actual document of your life. 2. A Tracker of Progress If you are interested in your personal growth, then journaling is a necessary exercise. I can read back years ago in my spiritual life and see where I was and where I am now. The funny thing is, most often, I have the shocking realization that I haven’t changed that much. I’m still basically the same guy! On the other hand, I can see some kind of progress, development, or growth. I’m not sure what to call it now because I’ve concluded that growth isn’t linear or in stages. I believe growth is spatial in that we expand to become larger in spirit. Therefore, we do not reject our former selves or lives or even our darkness, our shadows. Somehow, in healthy growth, all that has gone before or all that is uncovered gets folded in to integrate with who we are becoming… our most authentic selves. I wouldn’t have come to this realization if I hadn’t journaled. This leads me to my next point. 3. A Tool for Self-Awareness This is the most important fruit that journaling bears. As I noted above, I wouldn’t have realized how personal and spiritual growth works if it wasn’t for journaling. So, instead of me naïvely and proudly thinking that I have somehow made significant progress and become someone different, a new and improved me, I can see that, on a more complex level, I have become a little deeper and, therefore, wiser. I’ve become a little stretched and, therefore, more spacious and a little more empathetic and compassionate. Do you see? You will learn, through journaling, that you are the main character in your story. And as good main characters demonstrate, you will learn that you are a very complex person, deep and wise in your way, and even more compassionate because you are aware… aware of your surroundings and yourself. (Click on the cartoon for a digital download or click HERE!) Those are the three reasons I think you should start journaling: to preserve your memories, to track your progress, and to become more self-aware. I hope that journaling gives you everything you need to examine and then embrace the life ahead of and behind you. Do you journal already? I would love to know if it’s helped you. If not, when are you going to start?
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My Journey Through Theological Deconstruction
My theological deconstruction lasted decades. It began in seminary and culminated in a profound moment in 2009 that changed everything. Though the peace of mind I found that day has remained, the struggle to articulate what happened continues. The Epiphany That Changed Everything One afternoon, as I closed my eyes to rest, a vivid image unfolded before me: a magnificent waterfall. I stood at its base, gazing up at its overwhelming beauty. The water cascaded with a thunderous roar, endless streams of life flowing down. The sheer power and serenity of it engulfed me. In that instant, I understood something fundamental—we are all one. Beneath all our differences, we share a single reality. Yet, each of us perceives this reality through unique lenses and expresses it with our own words. This vision wasn’t just a moment of clarity; it was a complete paradigm shift. It dissolved years of theological and spiritual angst in an instant. The peace I’d longed for had arrived. But words failed to capture the depth and significance of what I experienced. They still do. The Challenge of Finding Words This cartoon captures the essence of the struggle perfectly. It feels like losing the ability to speak coherently about spirituality—an experience many of us endure during deconstruction. The words we once relied on fall short, leaving us grappling for new ways to articulate a transformed understanding. The struggle to articulate my new reality has been one of the most difficult aspects of deconstruction. The language I once used to describe my spirituality no longer sufficed. It felt like trying to speak in a dialect that no longer resonated with my soul. This is where many of us experience the greatest anxiety during deconstruction. Not only do we wrestle with understanding what’s happening to us, but we also lack the language to explain it to others. The words of our previous spiritual landscape fail to describe a completely new one. It’s not that the old words were wrong; they simply don’t work anymore. The Tension in Relationships The inability to articulate deconstruction can create tension in relationships, especially with those who remain within the frameworks we’ve left behind. If you're navigating deconstruction alongside changes in your relationships, you might find this post helpful: Can A Marriage Survive A Change In One Partner's Religious Beliefs?. Before deconstruction, I could confidently answer such questions. Now, even the questions themselves feel insufficient. They carry the weight of the questioner’s expectations, often making any answer feel like a compromise of authenticity. Embracing Mystery and Silence I’ve come to understand that the loss of words is a normal part of the deconstruction process. Deconstruction is not just a change in beliefs; it’s the dismantling of an entire framework of thought and the gradual emergence of something new. This requires not only patience but also a willingness to sit with mystery Advice for your deconstruction journey If you’re navigating deconstruction, here are four truths to hold onto: Realize this is normal. The loss of certainty and language is a natural part of the process. Abandon the need to explain yourself. You don’t owe anyone an explanation. Get comfortable with mystery and silence. These are fertile grounds for growth. Know you will find words to articulate your new reality. Give it time. A New Intelligence and Language In time, I’ve discovered that deconstruction doesn’t leave you empty. It clears space for a new intelligence and language to emerge. This language may be less certain, but it is more honest, nuanced, and reflective of the complexity of reality. Peace of mind will come. And so will the words. Until then, embrace the silence and trust the process.
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An Ultimate Guide To Spiritual Independence
The first time I mentioned the idea of spiritual independence, I received quite a backlash from some of my readers. People preferred that I had said "interdependence" because we shouldn’t be alone. But independence doesn’t mean being alone. I can be independent while interdependent with another. In fact, healthy interdependence depends on healthy independence. The Different Reactions to My Call for Spiritual Independence One was that Christians are supposed to be in fellowship and not alone. Another reaction was that it is spiritually healthy and necessary to be in submission to someone in authority for guidance. Yet another one was that we all need to be accountable to someone. I believe these are all misunderstandings of spiritual independence. So I will address each one. Does Spiritual Independence Mean Being Alone? “Christians are supposed to be in fellowship and not alone.” We should not confuse independence with loneliness. They are two different things. Yes, it’s possible to be independent and alone. But it’s not necessary. For example, every country wants to be independent. But this does not mean it wants to be isolated. It wants to be autonomous, self-directing, and free, but it also wants to decide which countries to enter into a relationship with. It’s the same for you and for me. I want to be independent, autonomous, self-directing and free. However, I also want to decide who to be in a relationship with. No, I don’t want to be alone. But I’m willing to be if that’s the only way I can be independent. Do We Really Need to be in Submission to a Spiritual Authority? It is spiritually healthy and necessary to be in submission to someone in authority for guidance.” I do not disagree with this. But, we have to be very careful with what we mean by this. I’ve believed in spiritual independence for a long time. I’ve also put myself in submission to spiritual directors, guides, and coaches. But that’s the key: I put myself there. I chose them, and they decided to agree to help me. I insist that we should be able to choose who to receive our guidance from. Of course, when we are young in life and in our spirituality, it’s wise to listen to those who are in authority over us and to take good advice from trusted people. But they should be training us to learn how to choose for ourselves. Parents should teach children to be able to live without them. The best teachers are those who don’t teach their students a bunch of facts, but teach them how to study for themselves. Similarly, spiritual leaders should teach their people to be able to be spiritually healthy without them as well. Does Being Spiritually Independent Mean Not Being Responsible? “We all need to be accountable to someone.” When I first left the ministry and the church as a faithfully attending member, many people expressed their concern that I was no longer under an umbrella of protection or under the shepherding of a pastor or under a spiritual covering. They feared I was now vulnerable to demonic attack, error, and apostasy. Having been a pastor who hung out with other pastors for decades, I knew these ideas are carefully manicured and published by those in authority to fence the flock into the fold with fear. I agree that it’s true that when we are young in life or immature in our spirituality, we should willingly learn from those more mature. But you have the right to make yourself accountable to someone if you want to, and it’s your choice who that can be. To go out on your own is only dangerous if you’re not prepared for it. Preparing for independence is normal and healthy.When we talk about independence, we usually mean these things When we talk about independence, this is what we mean: free from outside control not dependent on another’s authority self-governing not dependent on another for subsistence free-standing We should agree that every person should aspire to this independence. We should also agree that every parent, teacher, and spiritual leader should aspire to guide their children, their students, and their people to this same independence. We can be the captains of our own ships, the masters of our own destiny, and the authorities over our own lives. This leads us to another reaction I often receive when I talk about spiritual independence. This one is important. Some people say that they prefer to be interdependent rather than independent. We Shouldn't Confuse Independence with Interdependence Independence and interdependence are two different things. They are related but mutually exclusive. You can’t be healthily interdependent unless you are first healthily independent. Yes, you can be independent while interdependent with others. A healthy person is able to move into an interdependent relationship without losing their independence. I use the relationship Lisa and I have as an example. We’ve been married for years. We have a healthy relationship. We’ve worked hard for it. It’s not easy, but the rewards make it worth it. It has required a ton of personal growth for each of us, as well as a ton of growth in how to form healthy relationships. We had to learn how to be independent adults who choose to love each other. I have to be healthy as an individual. Lisa has to be healthy as an individual. When these two healthy individuals choose to interrelate, then, it is functional and healthy, rather than toxic, codependent, and dysfunctional. We choose to be interdependent. There are different kinds of dependencies: There’s dependence. There’s codependence. There’s independence. There’s interdependence. I think it is healthy to move through these different kinds of dependencies. What is Dependence? We all start as children dependent upon our caregivers. This is not only natural, but necessary. But we gradually learn how to fend for ourselves as we are cared for. We grow up, hopefully under the wise and gentle oversight of those who care for us. But we shouldn’t stay there. (Unless we aren’t able.) What is Codependence? “Codependency is a relationship imbalance where one person enables another person’s addiction, poor mental health, immaturity, irresponsibility, or under-achievement. Among the core characteristics of codependency is an excessive reliance on other people for approval and a sense of identity.” (Wikipedia) This can start at a very early age. But unfortunately it can continue on into adulthood. Many parents have a codependent relationship with each other as well as with their children, and vice versa. If the children are raised well though, they learn self-confidence, autonomy, and their own healthy sense of identity. They can pass through or even avoid codependence and move on to the next stage. What is Independence? Independence is as mentioned previously. It means that you are free from outside control, that you are self-governing, that you are not dependent on another’s authority, and that you are not dependent on another for subsistence. Of course, we all should aspire to this. As codependence is closely related to dependence, so is independence closely related to interdependence. What is Interdependence? Healthy interdependent relationships depend on healthy independent individuals. This is as true in a church as it is true in a marriage. The first spiritual director I ever had was the best I ever had. I sought one out and found Sister Marie, an Abbess of a monastery who was willing to meet with me once a week. We met for two years. The reason why she was the best was because even though I willingly submitted myself to her spiritual direction, she taught me how to become spiritually independent. She taught me how to think for myself, make decisions for myself, and decide for myself how I wanted to be spiritual. Even though she suggested what I should read, how I could meditate, who to study and contemplate, and how to be spiritual, at every moment I was free to walk away or free to accept her guidance and obey it or free to say that particular suggestion wasn’t for me. I remember one day, with deep exasperation, I said to her, “I feel like such a stick in the mud!” She gently responded, “What does it feel like to be a stick in the mud?” No judgment.No need to harness me into her spiritual style.No obsession with aligning me with her idea of perfection or progress. For her, what was most important and what she respected most was my autonomy and my ability to explore and find my own way to be spiritual. Actually, what I mean is she encouraged me to find my own way to be me! I did find it. I’m still finding it. And I’m living my own life now. I’m also free to choose who I am in a relationship with, how to recognize unhealthy relationships and how to form and nurture healthy ones. I’m able to decide how to be spiritual not only for myself, but for those I choose to be interdependent with. This is healthy. This is what I mean by spiritual independence.
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How To Overcome Your Fear of Hell
One of the most common and terrifying parts of changing and deconstructing your beliefs is letting go of the fear of Hell. I’ve walked with many people through their spiritual transition, letting go of old beliefs, questioning long-held doctrines, and trying to find peace on the other side. And time after time, this fear shows up. Even when people no longer believe in Hell, the anxiety remains. I know the feeling well. That’s why I drew my cartoon “Literal Hell” to capture just how real and overwhelming this fear can be. Anxiety and a fear of hell What is Stygiophobia?Stygiophobia is the irrational fear of Hell or the afterlife, particularly the fear of eternal punishment or condemnation. This fear manifests itself in very real ways including anxiety, panic attacks and even depression. Although stygiophobia can stem from a variety of sources, for those who know my work, it most likely comes from an experience in a very strict religious setting, often in childhood. Why Being Terrified of Hell Is So Difficult To Shake If you've been raised your whole life to believe in a literal Hell after death, it is so enmeshed in your brain that the belief itself is cellular. If your brain has been soaked in the belief that if you don't believe in Hell then you'll spend eternity there, how do you recover from that? It's very real. Not Hell, but the fear of it. I remember finally deciding that Hell was a metaphor and not a literal place. I also remember lying in bed in the darkness of my room that night terrified that I’d made a terrible mistake. A cold wave of fear swept over me.What if I’m going to Hell because I don’t believe in it anymore?What a mindf*ck that was.But that’s a lot of what theology is. It’s a tool used to control us, to make us behave, conform, fall in line, and stay in place. For me, theology often felt like a long and exhausting way to explain why I was suffering. And the answer always seemed to be that something was wrong with me. When life got hard, I didn’t just feel sad or stressed. I felt terror. I believed God was punishing me. I believed I had done something wrong, even when I had no idea what it was.That fear made my fear of Hell even worse. It felt like I was being watched and judged all the time, just waiting for punishment to drop out of nowhere. This is one of my many cartoons about the fear of hell. How To Overcome A Fear Of Hell Of course, we’re going to feel fear when we transgress those boundaries because that’s exactly what we’re supposed to feel when we do. That’s what they were designed for! People often ask me how to get over this hell anxiety. I say give it time. I've worked with enough people now to know that given a listening ear, a gracious and spacious space to question their religious beliefs and vent, as well as time, people recover and achieve peace of mind where they are no longer anxious about Hell. It becomes a non-issue of no concern. We can grow to understand that the idea of Hell was useful for a while to keep us in line and to keep us perpetually afraid of punishment for our disobedience and faithlessness. You see, time is a mental construct, and concepts like eternity and afterlife are parts of this construct. This is where fear and suffering thrive. All there is is now. Always. And this is where there is peace. Related Leaving Religion and Questioning Beliefs Resources I Used to Make Worship Music and Now I'm Triggered by My GuitarMy Story: From Churched Christian to Unchurched CartoonistYes, It’s Okay to Google “Leaving my Religion”The Art Of Finding Yourself After Leaving Your Religion5 Stages Of The Deconstruction Of Your Beliefs
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Embracing the Unknown: Swimming Against Certainty
In my cartoons my question marks represent mystical mystery and unknowing, whereas my exclamation marks represent the zeal of certainty. I remember growing up in church and in youth group always being pressured to go against the flow of the world. We were taught that the whole world hated us and persecutes us for our faith and that we needed courage to believe even in the face of martyrdom. This is cartoon is titled "Go Against The Flow" and is available as an art print and a digital download. Now I know that where true courage is needed is in distrusting the comfort and security of propositional truth and embracing mystery. Mystery and unknowing and uncertainty aren't steps to facts and knowing and certainty. No! Rather, they are a way of life. If this resonates with you then I think you'll love my Sophia Flow Art Print.
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4 Similarities Between Your Relationship with Religion and Your Relationship with Your Parents
I think a lot about religion and how it affects us. Religion, I claim, is a human invention, and it reflects our fears and fantasies more than anything else. Religion positions itself as an authority in our lives. And as an authority, it resembles other authorities that exert control over our lives. So, therefore, I draw parallels between religion, as a power over our lives, and our parents... also a power over our lives. (CLICK ON IMAGE FOR A DIGITAL DOWNLOAD) Here are 4 ways our relationship with religion is like our relationship with our parents. 1. Dependence As children we depend on our parents. We need them. They shape our worldview. Same with religion. We’re dependent on it. It nurtures us and shapes our worldview. 2. Interdependence My parents and I are different, but we love each other. They’re free to be who they are and so am I. We all just want a basically healthy, functional relationship so that we can live without the presence of conflict and sadness. 3. Codependence As adolescents, we test boundaries and authority. We need our parents and wish we didn’t. They assume they have control but our rebellion creates tension. It's the same with religion. We test its authority. It tries to control us but we realize it may not. There’s confusion as we find our way beyond its authority. 4. Independence This is early adulthood. Or should be. We leave. Sometimes we need help. But we’re basically on our own and we like it. We explore our independence from religion. We might conclude we don’t need religion the same way. Religion assumes we should still obey. But we choose to shape our own spiritual lives. Same with religion. I don’t hate it. I see its value. I appreciate it for what it is. It helped me grow up. But I will never let it control me again or negatively affect my life. I determine how religion relates to me and how I relate to it. Like independent, autonomous, self-determining adults… we care for ourselves and decide what role religion does or does not play in our lives. And we’re not going to feel guilty about it. As with religion, same with my parents. I choose how to relate with them. That's maturity.
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How The Deconstruction Of Our Beliefs Affects Our Lives
This cartoon is titled "Bowling For Deconstruction" I wanted to illustrate what so many of us have experienced. The many many ways in which deconstruction can affect our lives. There are so many things deconstruction affects. I could have included more. It can be devastating because it upsets everything about our lives that brought us comfort before. But it can be good if we do it well. What could you add to this list? It took me years to deconstruct. Like…YEARS. You deserve to deconstruct safely and with as much support as possible so I've decided to share my deconstruction course for free on Youtube. You can watch all the videos now starting with this one.
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