The Naked Journal
Thoughts, musings, and meanings behind NakedPastor Art.
The Naked Journal
Sharing NakedPastor Cartoons
Did you know you can buy the licenses to use my images for personal, non-profit, and for-profit use? Many churches and individuals have already subscribed. Just go to nakedpastor under cartoons then licensing. This poor church is missing out!
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The Emotional Journey of Leaving the Church
It's okay to say, "I'm done with church!"? You might change your mind one day but if that's how you're feeling now, then it's okay to own it now. Know your feelings.Own your feelings.Say your feelings.Walk your path.With intention. Like the woman in this drawing. Sometimes I draw a cartoon like this... with more detail, shading, story. There's lots of symbolism in this cartoon about leaving the church for me. The last time I left the church, in 2010, I felt like this. There was long road ahead. I didn't seem to take much with me. I was in its shadow for a while. Sophia, the female aspect of my inner self, came forward. Freedom ahead! I developed a healthier, less codependent, relationship with the church. What more can you see in it?
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Do Not Forsake the Assembling of Yourselves Together
Description: A woman writes “Do not forsake the assembling of yourselves together (unless they treat you like sh*t!) DO NOT FORSAKE THE ASSEMBLING OF YOURSELVES TOGETHER Some suggest Hebrews, where this verse is found, was written by a woman. So I entertained that idea in this cartoon. It’s interesting to me that this one verse is the only one employed to demand that we should never stop attending church. There are more scriptures telling us more clearly that we shouldn’t eat shrimp than there are telling us to keep going to church. It’s also interesting to me, whether or not you use scriptures to inform your life, that they are chock full of stories of people who liberated themselves from oppressive, abusive, and undesirable situations. And these stories mean to inspire us to do the same. There are other reasons to stop going to church, like abuse, boredom, bad theology, irrelevance, coercion, manipulation, control, awkwardness, or even just, “No particular reason. I just don’t want to go anymore.” Even the verse in Luke where we’re told Jesus went to synagogue, as was his custom. Why’d Luke say that? Wasn’t that the custom of most Jews of his day? Maybe the emphasis is on “was”. Because later in his life we know, especially from the gospel of Mark, that Jesus avoided crowds and towns and preferred the wilderness where the crowds dwindled. In any case, in my opinion, you don’t need a good reason not to go to church. It could just be your preference or out of necessity. To me it doesn’t matter. Church-centric people disagree. Of course. Because this snatches the Church’s power over your life out of its hands and into yours. Where it should be.
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Leaving The Church and Shedding Shame
When I left the church in 2010 there was a feeling of ostracizing myself, alienating myself, separating myself, removing myself. I was now outside the organized church and it was my fault. I made an important choice that was very public. I was the one who left. This was my doing. Yes, the situation had come to the point where it was unbearable and impossible for me to stay. But it was still me who left. Description: A woman leaves a church. The pastor says, “Shame on you for leaving!” She replies, “No! I’m done with shame. Which is why I’m leaving!” When I left the church in 2010 there was a feeling of ostracizing myself, alienating myself, separating myself, removing myself. I was now outside the organized church and it was my fault. I made an important choice that was very public. I was the one who left. This was my doing. Yes, the situation had come to the point where it was unbearable and impossible for me to stay. But it was still me who left. But along with this feeling I noticed something else happening. I noticed that the feeling of being disqualified, invalid, illegitimate, even ashamed, tried to creep in. Not only did I leave. I felt people expected me to be humiliated for leaving. Ashamed. People were even embarrassed FOR me. Remember, I not only left the church. I also left the ministry. But, I immediately knew that this feeling was wrong and unnecessary. Here’s an analogy: I am a Canadian living in Canada. Even if I travel to Australia, I’m still a Canadian. Even if I move to Mozambique for the rest of my life, I am still a Canadian. I am no less valid a Canadian no matter where I am than the little old lady who never leaves Small Town, New Brunswick, Canada. My point is: Remember who you are. You are not disqualified. Don’t be ashamed. You are okay just as you are where you are. Be courageous and confident because you carry your identity with you. You haven’t left you behind. You’ve only left that which tried to limit, destroy, and shame you. Be done with shame!
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A Tribute To A Friend Who Passed Away
My friend Steve Austin died last weekend from suicide. He was commissioning me to do some cartoons to illustrate his newest book. This one, "Let's Get Vulnerable", was the first one he approved. He loved it. I loved Steve. He was so kind, caring, affectionate, and encouraging. He helped so many of us feel better about ourselves. He was truly a good man. Vulnerability Cartoon Description: A pastor stand before his congregation. Everyone is wearing a happy-face mask, including him. He says, "I want you all to feel free to get really vulnerable with each other." I lost a brother to suicide a few years ago. I miss Mark every day. And every death by suicide reminds me... personally... of how important it is for me to love everyone in my life all of the time, to reach out if I'm wondering, and to provide unquestioning support because we never always know what they're going through. Yes, let's get vulnerable. And let's mean it. Bye Steve.
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Embracing Unity Despite Our Differences in Faith
Yesterday Lisa and I were in a business being helped by a young woman. We really liked her. She had a sweet spirit, was very helpful, kind and engaging. After a while, she noticed on the forms that I was a pastor. She was happy about that and quietly let us know that she was a believer too. She began talking to us about how difficult she found it being a Christian in her work environment. She struggles. She shared her experiences with her own church, other Christians, and the churches in the area and how divisive they are. She asked me questions about our church, our worship style and all that. I really enjoyed our conversation. It was, I think, a mutually encouraging encounter. We even talked about getting together with her and her husband because, being new to the area, they would like to have more fellowship with other Christians. But the whole time we were talking I had this knot growing in my gut. Her theological and ecclesiastical position was obviously more conservative than mine. I could tell by the way she talked that she was used to a more traditional expression of Christianity and was comfortable with that. I don't mind that at all. That wasn't the issue. The issue was that I was concerned that she was going to find out about me, my blog, my cartoons, my theological position, my history and the history of my church. Stained and blemished at least. I was worried that she would find me and my church scandalous and wouldn't want to associate with me anymore. This kind of tension always brings me back to Paul's words in Romans 14:10:Why do you pass judgment on your brother or sister? Or you, why do you despise your brother or sister? The judgment comes from those who think they are holier than others, live more righteous lives and are more pure than their sinfully compromised brothers and sisters. The despising comes from those who think they are more developed, advanced and mature, beyond the law and freed from traditions and regulations. This is the problem with the Christian community and even the spiritual- or faith-community in general... conservatives who judge liberals and liberals who despise conservatives. This is the problem! We are either perpetuating this terrible cycle of division or we are victims of it. Often both! This discomfort I felt while talking with this wonderful woman probably tells more about me than her. But my feelings aren't unfounded. It has happened to me many, many times. I love fellowship with Christians different than I and work hard to create that kind of diverse environment within our community. But my experience has generally been that many Christians, usually more conservative ones, prefer to separate themselves from me and my kind. The painting is one I did that expresses separation from others, "I Miss You".
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When to Leave the Church
You can leave church for many reasons: bad teaching, lousy coffee, no youth group, terrible music, uncomfortable chairs. But there are two reasons to leave the church right away. When it’s abusive. When you can’t be free. Many leave the church for the first. More should leave for the second. Cartoon description: A woman leaves a church shaped like a cage. A man inside says "Wait! I wouldn't go out there if I were you!" I experienced a lot of the first and found a safer place.The reason I finally left is for the second reason. I migrated to churches where I could be free. But I eventually found a line I could not cross. My freedom was limited so I had to leave. I left the church in 2010 for this reason. I felt free until I realized I wasn’t free to fully become who I am. I bumped into the bars of the cage I didn’t know were there until I bumped into them. Do you know what I mean? That’s when I walked out of the cage into my freedom. Sometimes you don’t realize you’re trapped until you meet the line you must not cross. The cage seemed large enough for me. Now I know something important: THERE IS NO CAGE. I discovered that the bars of my cage were in my own mind. Imaginary! I wasn’t trapped at all. I was only afraid of the consequences of living my freedom. Freedom is scary. But if you live free in spite of the fear you will realize that you’ve always been free. You’ve gradually learned how to live in a cageless world. I learned how to do it. You can too! And it’s wonderful.
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Did the Church Bait and Switch You with Unconditional Love?
One of the things that disturb me is when someone accuses people of wanting to go to church when the church is notorious for abusing them. Women. LGBTQ+. BIPOC. Etcetera. I always respond that people have the right to want to be a part of a church congregation and community. If a kid was having a rough time at home, would we say, “Why do you want to stay there? Just leave!” Of course not. Because we understand the kid wants family. The church rightly claims that it offers unconditional love. Like it’s Lord. Unfortunately, “unconditional” has been changed in meaning. What it usually means now is this: “Of course we welcome you unconditionally. Depending on the severity of your sin, though, you have one month to a year to reform or you’re out on your ass.” People are "love-bombed" on the way in and for the first while. Then the unconditional love expires. Unconditional love now has a shelf-life. Unconditional love isn’t the main course but the bait. The chum. The lure. The decoy. The teaser. It’s the cologne, not the body. It’s not the face, but the mask. It’s meant to get you in so they can change you. The old bait and switch. How many here know what I’m talking about?
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Here are 10 signs you’re being verbally abused
Can you tell when you're being verbally abused? I get verbally abused. It takes some a while to recognize when it's happening because abusive speech was normal growing up. After I left the ministry I visited a church. When the preacher preached I was pushing myself back into my chair, physically reacting to his abusive speech. I decided to never go back if he was preaching. I've learned how to recognize verbal abuse. I can smell it a mile away. You can too. A preacher decides which face to use for preaching: Loving? (in cobwebs) Disappointed? Angry? Furious? Here are 10 signs you’re being verbally abused: You think, "I don't deserve this!” They are aggressively shouting, pointing, and using all CAPS. You think, “I'd never speak to anyone like this!" You think, "What they're saying just isn't true!" You doubt yourself while they're talking. You don't feel free to respond and they won't listen anyway. If you express your hurt, you're blamed for being too sensitive. They say terrible things but add "I love you" or a nice emoji. They use words always and never. You fear that this could escalate. This is not comprehensive. The first step to realizing you’re being verbally abused is knowing that you don't deserve this. It's an assault on your person. So when you're being verbally abused, what can you do? If it’s safest to endure until you're safe and secure, do so. Or, if you can, hang up, walk away, block. You don’t deserve to be verbally abused. You can demand people speak to you with respect. Establish a boundary. If they violate it, THEY'RE the ones who broke the communication, not YOU for not tolerating it. Love yourself.
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