The Naked Journal
Thoughts, musings, and meanings behind NakedPastor Art.
The Naked Journal
Embracing Unity Despite Our Differences in Faith
Yesterday Lisa and I were in a business being helped by a young woman. We really liked her. She had a sweet spirit, was very helpful, kind and engaging. After a while, she noticed on the forms that I was a pastor. She was happy about that and quietly let us know that she was a believer too. She began talking to us about how difficult she found it being a Christian in her work environment. She struggles. She shared her experiences with her own church, other Christians, and the churches in the area and how divisive they are. She asked me questions about our church, our worship style and all that. I really enjoyed our conversation. It was, I think, a mutually encouraging encounter. We even talked about getting together with her and her husband because, being new to the area, they would like to have more fellowship with other Christians. But the whole time we were talking I had this knot growing in my gut. Her theological and ecclesiastical position was obviously more conservative than mine. I could tell by the way she talked that she was used to a more traditional expression of Christianity and was comfortable with that. I don't mind that at all. That wasn't the issue. The issue was that I was concerned that she was going to find out about me, my blog, my cartoons, my theological position, my history and the history of my church. Stained and blemished at least. I was worried that she would find me and my church scandalous and wouldn't want to associate with me anymore. This kind of tension always brings me back to Paul's words in Romans 14:10:Why do you pass judgment on your brother or sister? Or you, why do you despise your brother or sister? The judgment comes from those who think they are holier than others, live more righteous lives and are more pure than their sinfully compromised brothers and sisters. The despising comes from those who think they are more developed, advanced and mature, beyond the law and freed from traditions and regulations. This is the problem with the Christian community and even the spiritual- or faith-community in general... conservatives who judge liberals and liberals who despise conservatives. This is the problem! We are either perpetuating this terrible cycle of division or we are victims of it. Often both! This discomfort I felt while talking with this wonderful woman probably tells more about me than her. But my feelings aren't unfounded. It has happened to me many, many times. I love fellowship with Christians different than I and work hard to create that kind of diverse environment within our community. But my experience has generally been that many Christians, usually more conservative ones, prefer to separate themselves from me and my kind. The painting is one I did that expresses separation from others, "I Miss You".
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Why We Say "I'll Never Stop Believing In God"
I’ve helped many people through their deconstruction journey. At the beginning they make the same claim: “I’ll never stop believing in God (or Jesus)!” I respectfully listen but suggest they hold that thought and let’s see what happens. Why do we do this? 1. We really do still believe and we can’t imagine not believing. We’ve had this belief for so long that we can’t imagine not having it in the same way. We’re being genuine that we can’t imagine not believing in God. It’s hard not believing what we believe. Advice: Patiently wait for your beliefs to morph. 2. We still fear punishment for unbelief. If we still believe, then what goes with the belief is still there too. We all know what happens to unbelievers. The fear of Hell is deeply ingrained in us, making it hard to question or let go of beliefs. This is what I call The Paralyzing Grip of Theological Terror—a fear so deep that it keeps us locked in belief, even when doubts begin to surface. So along with this belief exists a latent fear of punishment and Hell. Advice: Focus on love and grace that doesn’t condemn questions and growth. 3. You can’t allow yourself to betray God. You can’t fathom betraying and not believing in God anymore. You’re not just betraying a belief... yet!... you’re betraying your heavenly father. And you can’t let yourself do that. Advice: Realize you won’t betray what you know is true. Those three reasons are the most popular. You still believe.You fear not believing.For you this is very real and personal. Remember: beliefs are just thoughts we are very attached to. Once we see this, then the thoughts will change and the beliefs lose their power. Enjoy your journey!
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Deconstructing in Front of Your Family
A young woman is surrounded by her family staring intently at her. The caption: "Can you tell which family member is deconstructing?" How to deal with your family when you’re deconstructing. Some suggestions: You’re no longer an evangelist. You always had to be ready to share your faith. Now you don’t have to change anyone’s mind. You don’t have to convert them and you don’t need to be converted. You can accept people where they’re at and expect them to do the same for you. You can just be you with them even if they don’t like it. This is about peace. You’re in control of your life, not your family. Even if you were in a controlling home, you’re an adult now. An independent thinker! When you’re with people with differing beliefs, you’re still an independent thinker. They don’t control your thoughts. So don’t panic. You don’t have to believe them. This is about freedom. You decide how to respond. For me there’s active or passive mode. Active mode is when it’s about me and people want to know what I think. Passive mode is when it’s not about me and people want to just hang out. It’s not a lack of integrity to choose to be silent. This is about self-control. People don’t want to change their beliefs. So you won’t change them. But when they do start to question their beliefs, it manifests as genuine curiosity. This is when you can share your thoughts. Don’t argue or debate. It’s a waste of time. SO: You’re no longer required to change anyone’s mind. You’re in control of how you speak. Share your thoughts only when you want to.
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How Holy You Think You Are
You liked my last graph so much I thought I'd show you another one. This graph on one side says, "How holy you think you are." The bottom says, "How much of a dick you are." The red graph arrow goes diagonally upward sharply. Many years ago when I was going through a very intense spiritual transition... in other words... I was trying very hard to be very spiritual... my wife Lisa said these words to me: "You're a terrible person when you're trying to be spiritual!" That was one of the most profound teachable moments in my life. Rather than just being who I was, I was trying to be someone I wasn't. Lisa loves me when I'm me. Not when I'm trying to be spiritual. I'm more loveable and likeable when I'm me. Not when I'm trying to be spiritual. The funny thing is, when I'm trying to be spiritual, you aren't very loveable or likeable to me. But when I'm just accepting who I am and being who I am, you are very loveable and likeable to me. The huge lesson I learned that hard day was that love and acceptance increases in the world when I begin right here... by loving and accepting me as me. You know what I'm talking about.
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Navigating the Deconstruction Journey
The Relationship Between Belief Intensity and Healing in Deconstruction.The graph: the harder you believed, the harder you deconstruct. This is a generalization. There are exceptions but in my own experience and observations, this is generally true. When you are 100% all in- to the beliefs, to the church, to its leaders- and you start to doubt these things, it can be very traumatic. Like the stock market. When you invest everything into your beliefs, the Church, its leaders, and they all crashing, it can be devastating. Some will say that none of it was real so I really didn’t lose anything anyway. It was all a hoax. They walk away unscathed. But for many of us, this is not how it FELT. It was very real to us and to surrender that whole world, to give it up, to let it go, well, it hurts! That was me. And maybe this was you too. We totally absorbed the Bible. We totally invested in the Church with time, energy, and money.We totally served our leaders with zeal.We totally believed what we believed. We didn’t do it half-assed. Then, when we started to deconstruct our beliefs… to question our beliefs and lose the faith we once had and change our relationship to the church… those symbols (Bible, Church, Pastor) began to lose their charm and as a result their power over us. It’s not like our spiritual investments were compartmentalized in our minds and we could just amputate that. Our faith, beliefs, involvement and service permeated every aspect of our lives. Nothing was excluded. It stained everything. So please take comfort. This is normal. The intensity will simmer. You will slip into your new life and realize how magnificent it’s always been.
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Does Fear Stop You From Living Your Life?
"Life" is locked inside a cage. The lock says "Fear". One of the biggest lessons I learned years ago was that I’m not trapped. I was a pastor of a church and I hated my job. I felt hopeless. I was a young pastor with my wife Lisa and our three young kids and I felt trapped in a situation I could see no escape from. One night I went to bed depressed. But I had a dream. I heard a voice say, "It's time!" I woke up laughing hysterically. I was the happiest man on earth! Why? Because the dream made me realize I wasn't trapped at all. I was only afraid. It was fear that was making me feel trapped. Legitimate fear. But just fear. Fear of being unemployed. Fear of being homeless. Fear of no money. Fear of not being able to take care of my family. Fear of losing my sense of purpose and my vocation as a pastor. These were all legitimate fears. But they were just that: fears. Not bars that kept me trapped. Just phantoms of what might be. Consequences. Ramifications. Lisa and the kids were laughing with me. When I explained that we were free. We could just walk away. We weren't trapped! Lisa agreed. So I quit. We sold almost everything we had, packed the rest in our van, and drove into our freedom. The next year was the most thrilling, exciting, and happiest adventure of our life together. But we were free! No longer did we allow our fears contain or detain or restrain us. With courage we stepped into our freedom that was waiting there for us the whole time. What are you afraid of that’s holding you back?
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When Theology Divides
Four people are trying to reach out to each other but can't because they are being held back by a ball and chain titled, "My Theology". I consider the story of the tower of Babel as a metaphor for how language separates and even divides us. This translates to theology as well. Theology can't unite us since we already are. This is the misuse of theology: 1. It claims to be exclusively right. 2. It requires everyone to fall in line. 3. This results in our dispersion. It creates apparent division. Good theology attempts to articulate the reality of the reconciliation of all things and tries to find helpful ways to make this clearer. Good theology points to our essential unity. It can't create what already exists. It declares it.
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Questions in Three Stages
QUESTIONS IN 3 STAGES I wrote a book, “Questions are the Answer”. I talk about three stages of questions. A door is closed, swinging, or open. Like questions! The first kind of questions is closed. The answer is yes or no. Black or white. No grays. One or the other. This is a time of certainty. The second is swinging. The answer is yes and no. Two options. It's still a black and white world, but it’s getting more complicated. This is a time of confusion. The third kind is open. The answer is that there isn't an answer. There may be an answer but we don't know what it is, we don't pretend that there is, and we remain open to see it when or if it comes. This is a time of contentment. I suggest we grow through these stages of questions. These aren't really stages, but ways of seeing. Reality is not in the future waiting for us. It’s here now, giving us clues to its truth if only we would see. It’s not reality's elusiveness but our resistance to it that’s the problem. Example: the Bible. The first kind may answer, "Is the Bible true?" with, "Yes, it's literally true", or, "No, it's not!" The second may answer, "Do you mean historically or theologically? Parts seem true and others don't. And what about other religions’ scriptures? I'm confused!" The third may answer, "What do you mean by 'true'? Even though it isn’t all historically accurate it conveys some truth. Perhaps it speaks truth with metaphor and myth?” As the theologian Barth said, "I take the Bible far too seriously to take it literally." Want more? Get my book!
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Is Worship Driving Us Apart Instead of Bringing Us Together?
I’ve believed in unity forever. This wasn’t just a suspicion but a mysticism inspired by Bible verses like: “In God we live and move and have our being.”“that they may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you.”“He is before all things, and in him all things hold together.”“God was in Christ reconciling the whole world to himself.” A worship leader begs Jesus to come. Jesus yawns looking at his watch. My contemplations found these Biblical affirmations. The Bible encouraged me to view reality so but the church emphasizes separation from God rather than unity with all things. An important part of theology is creation- the pouring out from the center creating a separated diversity of multitudes. But another part is reconciliation- the return to the center of all things. Worship emphasizes separation, not union. Barth wrote: “Look how Michelangelo has depicted the Creation of Eve: in the fullness of her charm and beauty she rises slowly, posing herself in the fatal attitude of worship. Notice the Creator’s warning arm and careworn, saddened eyes, as He replies to Eve’s gesture of adoration. She is manifestly behaving as she ought not. Eve, and we must honor her as the first religious personality, was the first to set herself against God, the first to worship Him; but, inasmuch as SHE worshiped HIM, she was separated from Him in a manner at once terrible and presumptuous. Tragic because, when men, knowing good and evil, become like God, when their direct relation with Him gives birth to independent action, then all direct relationship is broken off.” This doesn’t dismiss our existential feelings of alienation that inspires worship but hopefully encourages a mystical apprehension that enjoys the unity of all things.
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